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May
30
I know it’s not officially summer yet, but it was the first day of summer vacation in our house, which is good enough for me.
Things I love about summer vacation:
- The boys can sleep later, which = much happier children
- Children watching cartoons in their pajamas in the morning
- Water balloon wars
- Sounds of kids playing all day long
- Long lazy days with no agenda
- More time for my favorite activity, reading!
- $1 kids movies at the local theatre
- Snow cones
- Fourth of July fireworks
- The boys sleeping out in a tent in the backyard
- Both boys have June birthdays, so it’s one big celebration
There are other things I love about summer, but it pretty much boils down to more free time with my boys, less rushing around and more relaxing.
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May
28
Fourteen years ago today I married my sweetheart. It’s been a wonderful ride, lots of twists and turns and several uphill climbs, but we’re here and we’re happy.
Looking forward to many more years together, no matter what they bring. Love ya babe.
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May
27
Sometimes words of wisdom come when we least expect it. There have been some power struggles going on in our house lately. Now I have strong convictions about how I want to raise my kids, but I will sometimes question my rules if someone else questions me enough. I wish I wasn’t like that, but I do find myself doing some inner “waffling” on things because I doubt myself.
My waffling is partly because I get tired of the constant emotional turmoil. As the parent of a preteen, I knew the arguments and struggles were coming. But on a day to day basis it wears me down. I was worn out on Sunday, after a long week of single parenting while Mike was out of town, so when my also worn out kids asked if they could please please please miss church just this once, I hesitated. Not because I want them missing church when they’re tired, but because I was tired of the fight.
I didn’t let them off the hook though, we attended church as a family. And how appropriate that Father’s homily was on the importance of family. Specifically, our role as parents and how we, more than anyone or anything else, influence and shape our children. Appropriate, and oh so timely for me.
One of his points was that most of us have to be pretty old before we can truly appreciate our parents. That’s exactly what I needed to hear right at that moment. My sons won’t appreciate me now, despite the fact that I have nothing but their very best interests at heart. I still have to trudge on, making decisions that make them unhappy and angry. Decisions that make me weary. But it’s my job. It’s what I signed up for.
And the struggle is so worth it.
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May
26
Only 3 more days of school. Then I’ll officially be the mom of a 5th grader and a 7th grader. Unbelieveable. But we are ready!
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May
23
I got the news yesterday that a family member has what could potentially be a life threatening health issue. I’m stunned, and with no husband/best friend here to talk to or cry with, I’m floundering. I went through a bit of a faith upheaval awhile back, questioning and doubting many things that I’d always believed. I came through it stronger and more sure of my faith, but things like this always make me question. Why do such bad things have to happen, and why can’t I fix everything to make it better for the people I love and cherish.
Through all my doubts and fear, I do know this: there is never enough. There will never be enough laughing, crying, celebrating, never enough time. So we have to cherish what we have. Life isn’t always fair, or fun, but it’s what we have. Make the most of it, every day.
Tell someone you love them, especially if you haven’t said it in awhile. Call just to say hi. Do a kind deed for someone, because of how it makes them feel and how it will make you feel. Take a walk with your children. Stop what you are doing when they talk to you and just look at them, see into their hearts. So they know you really want to hear them.
Take time every day to make a connection with those you love. So much time is spent in a whirlwind of activity, no stopping or pausing to enjoy each other. Time is speeding by much too fast, and we can never get it back. So make each day yours, to love and cherish.
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May
21
My husband is out of town. When he’s gone, even for a day, it really hits home just how much we need him and just how much he does for me. I will joke with my friends about his obsessive compulsive cleaning habit, or complain because he’s a perfectionist and I’m a slacker, which does cause some friction in our household. But what I usually don’t mention is how often he makes my life easier, without me even realizing it most of the time.
I’ve got 2 pretty independent kids, but someone has to get them to practice, find and wash the uniforms, sign the school paperwork, pick up the snacks for the game, and then there’s the math homework. My kids know not to even ask me for help with the MATH homework.
When I’m the only parent, it’s a full time plus overtime job, and then I see how much I’ve been taking him for granted. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a panic moment where I’ve frantically asked “has this been taken care of” and my kids are like “yeah, dad did it”. Dad always does it, when mom’s too busy running in circles to get anything done.
So, honey, we miss you. I miss you. And appreciate you.
Now please come home and help me with these fractions.
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May
20
My husband, great guy that he is, is not a natural born handy man. But he tries. When things break down, he scours the internet for instructions and diagrams, and through much trial and error, and swear words, he gets the job done.
He has a helper though, and it’s not me. Our son is a total daddy’s boy, and soaks up everything. So we found out daddy was going to be out of town for a couple of days, and I asked the boys what fun things we should do while he was gone.
Nolan sighed, and said “I don’t know what you’ll be doing, but I’ll be fixing all the things you break”.
Nolan is 10. His mother is helpless, and apparently prone to breaking things. The things my children have to put up with.
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May
15
I’m having one of those weeks, my head is just in a fog and I’m going in circles. I had to run several errands today, so I was juggling grocery lists, packages to mail, other shopping. Which doesn’t sound like much, but today, for me, it was more than I could handle.
I tried to get organized before taking everything into the Post Office, got my packages all ready to go. Of course there was a long line, but I finally got finished and was ready to head home, when I realized I couldn’t find my cell phone. I had been talking on it just minutes before going inside the Post Office, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. I dumped my purse, which created a huge mess in my car (sorry, honey) but no phone.
At this point I was really aggravated, I’d been running around all morning, it was lunchtime and I was tired! No phone is like no right arm though, so my only choice was to go back into the Post Office. I really didn’t want to, but I had to do it. I waited in the long line, again, and explained to the nice lady at the counter that I couldn’t find my phone, and there was a chance that in my disorganization haste I may have shoved the phone into the package that I just mailed. (Yes, I was cringing as I said that) She had to dig my package out of the bin, and then she called my cell phone number to see if the package rang. This caused all the clerks to stop what they were doing and watch, cause I’m fairly certain things like this don’t happen every day. Talk about humiliation, there were probably 20 people in line behind me, half were laughing and half were annoyed that I was taking up so much time.
But the package didn’t ring, so I went back to my car and headed home. I knew I hadn’t dropped that dang phone, I just get in such a hurry that I can’t find anything. Made it home, called the cell phone, and there it was under the floor mat in my car. Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?
If my kids had been with me I would have found a way to blame this on them, surely a 39 year old woman cannot be responsible for such chaos. Where’s a toddler when you need one?!
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May
11
My boys, when they were about 3 and 5 years old. What cuties. Sometimes I really miss those days, but then I remember that every age has it’s difficulties. Right now it just seems like kissing owies and potty training had to be easier than venturing into the teenage years.
My boys couldn’t be less alike. My oldest is so much like me, it hurts to watch him stumble through life. He’s self conscious, filled with doubts and worries about himself, and so eager to please in order to get and keep friends, it makes my heart ache. He’s also bright, funny, and an extremely talented musician and artist. He’s kind to a fault sometimes, he’ll tolerate almost anything to be accepted.
My wish for him is that he be able to see the goodness in himself. That he know in his heart that he’s good, and kind, and worthy. I would give anything to be able to give that to him.
My younger son is a clone of my husband. Confident, secure, no worries. This child worries me much less than his brother. If someone doesn’t like him, his attitude is that it’s their loss, not his. If someone is mean to him, he doesn’t follow them around like a puppy, waiting for a crumb. He was born this way, he’s never had a day of self doubt in his life. This makes my heart sing, because of all the personality traits that might help him get through the turbulent teenage years, self confidence trumps them all.
Our children break our hearts, daily. I can’t wrap them in my arms and keep them safe, I can’t do the hard parts for them, they have to grow and learn and muddle through, just like I did. There’s no other option but to take this motherhood job day by day. Each day brings a different struggle, a different joy.
I hope your Mother’s Day is filled with joy.
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May
8
I work at home, so I’m alone all day in a quiet house. Quiet is great, but usually by midday I’m dying for someone to talk to. When my kids walk in the door after school I’m all over them. How was your day? Do you have homework? What exciting thing happened? According to them the same thing happens every single day: Nuthin.
Since I can’t get any conversation from my kids, I will hourly occasionally email my husband. My emails are long, lots of details about how the kids were that morning on the way to school, what activities we have coming up, if I’ve recently talked to either of our parents. Chock full of really important stuff that I’m sure he needs and wants to know. And I always ask how his day is going.
It never fails, no matter how wonderful my email is, this is the kind of stuff I get in response:
Hey. I’m working late then going for a run. Did you wash whites?
Seriously, I’ve got an inbox full of emails that are identical to this. Do you realize what a letdown it is, when I so carefully and lovingly crafted the perfect email?
Usually I respond to let him know that something must be wrong with his computer, because part of his email was cut off, the part where he wrote HOW MUCH HE LOVES ME!
Is a little conversation really too much to ask?
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