-
Subscribe to my blog via email
-
Jun
28
My son got home from camp today. Finally life is as it should be.
I’m glad he got to go, we were getting to that point in the summer break where the boys were snapping at each other more often, and everyone was tired of being stuck inside during the seemingly constant storms lately. He was ready for something different, and a week of good old fashioned outdoor fun was just the thing to break the monotony.
But it did my heart good to see how happy Nolan was to have his brother home. He missed Tanner right away, maybe more than I did. Ok, that’s not possible, but he missed him alot. I warned him that even though Tanner missed us too and was ready to come home, I knew he’d also be worn out from such a busy week and that his good mood might not last for long.
But I was wrong. He was worn out, but he was so happy to be home, happy to hang out with his little brother all day. Not once did I hear any bickering, yelling, tormenting. Just laughter. What a sweet sound.
I know that the peace and love flowing around our home tonight probably won’t last long, but I’m soaking it up for now. Everyone is tucked into their bed where they belong, and all is right in the world.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Jun
26
I love giveaways, so I’m very excited to have one of my own. I’m giving away a Live Your Best Life boxed candle set from zena moon! Zena moon candles were chosen by Oprah for her Live Your Best Life tour, and I can certainly understand why, they are beautiful candles and they smell delicious. I’m forcing myself to post this giveaway now or I might just decide to keep them.
In addition to the boxed set, the 2nd place winner will recieve a Follow Your Bliss candle, and the 3rd place winner will recieve a Self Nurture candle.
Here’s how to enter:
Leave a comment answering the question what is your favorite thing about summer. I will pick the winners using the random.org generator and will notify them via their email. One entry per person please. The giveaway will end at 10pm Pacific time on Tuesday July 1.
The giveaway has ended, thank you for all your entries. I will weed out duplicates then post the winners by Wednesday evening July 2.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Jun
24
My son Tanner turned 13 yesterday. Why didn’t I post about this on his actual birthday you might ask. Well, because I was glued to my phone hoping that he would call his mama on his birthday, since he’s away at camp and I had no way to call him.
Did he call? Nope. I know, that’s a good thing because it means he’s having a great time and is keeping busy. But I wanted to talk to him! (insert whiny voice)
But let’s go back a minute and reflect on the fact that he is now 13! Hard to believe that I’m the mom of a teenager. I honestly don’t know where the past 13 years went, and why they flew by so quickly.
I attended the parent meeting for incoming 6th graders last August, and something the principal said really stuck with me. She said the kids look older, act older, and want to be treated like they are older. But now is the time to hold them close, rein them in, don’t let them go. I love that, because it echoes what I believe about parenting kids this age.
My son has alot of responsibilities at home. But he does not have alot of freedoms. We expect alot from him. But we haven’t loosened our hold on him, so to speak. We don’t drop him off at the local movie theatre on Friday nights. He’s not allowed unlimited access to the internet or cable tv channels. Would it be easier to let him do those things? Of course, because he desperately wants that freedom, and because so many of his peers already are allowed to do those things. But we hold our ground, no matter how ugly it gets.
I don’t have all the answers for raising teenagers, in fact I don’t have any answers because we’re just starting on this journey. But I am holding him close, keeping him near to me where I know it’s safe. I can see the internal struggle waging in him. He still gives me spontaneous hugs, and if no one is around he will happily build with his Knex set. But he told me recently that he is almost an adult,and he should have more privileges than he does. My initial response to that was to laugh, but he wasn’t joking. He believes that, he wants it to be true. He wants to be independent while at the same time he clings to us when life gets too overwhelming.
I have many hopes and dreams for him. But right now I mainly want to provide him with a safe haven, a place where he knows he’s loved and cherished and not judged. It’s a fine line, keeping them safe and secure but also letting go just enough to help them grow and learn.
So even though I’m missing him like crazy right now, and I hate being away from him on his birthday, it does my heart good to think of him at camp. Playing, laughing, swimming, carefree. Which is how a kid should be.
Happy birthday Tanner. Mom loves you always.
And any other moms of teens out there, feel free to chime in with advice. I know I can use it.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Jun
23
My oldest son is away at Boy Scout camp this week. He went last year, so it’s not like it’s the first time he’s been away from us for a week. That’s great for him, he wasn’t nervous at all, just really excited to go back.
But for me, not so great. For some reason it doesn’t get any easier for me whenever my kids are away from home for more than 1 night, no matter how often they’ve done it. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy time away from my kids once in awhile. But this is for an entire week! And it’s not like he’s with his grandparents, who are as protective as I am, maybe more.
I am a worrier, and there are a few things I’m anal about. Sunscreen. Bug spray. Safety. So sending my 12 year old off to scout camp, with the large lake, campfires, unrestricted access to sugar and caffeine, and all the other stuff that he loves about it, makes me crazy. I keep picturing him coming home sunburnt, covered with ticks and bug bites. And filthy.
Actually the filthy part is pretty much guaranteed.
In addition to my crazy completely reasonable worries, do you know how quiet it is to only have 1 child at home? No sounds of kids screaming at each other laughing and playing together? No name calling, no incessant bickering, no constant picking on each other?
The worst part of it is the sight of my youngest son moping around, bored to tears without his big brother to laugh/play/fight/bicker with. It’s so sad. They need each other. I need both of them. Home. Preferably right now.
No matter how many years he goes off to camp, I will still obsess worry. So while I am enjoying the one on one time with my youngest son, Tanner is always in the back of my mind. And I will be so happy when this week is over.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Jun
21
5 Minutes for Mom is giving away 5 Little Scholastic Summer Goodie Bags, perfect for getting some reading time in this summer. They’re also giving away The Suite Life of Zach & Cody: Lip Synchin’ in the Rain DVD.
Scribbit is giving away a beautiful image case necklace, I’d love to win that myself! She’s also giving away a fun 2nd place prize as well, be sure to check that out. Enter by 12am Monday June 23.
I’m planning a fun Unexpected Bliss giveaway for next week, so check back for that.
Enjoy the weekend.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Jun
20
I had to take my son shopping today, he’s leaving for Scout camp Sunday and has outgrown of most of his summer clothes and shoes.
Five stores, four hours later, we’ve now got 2 pair of shorts and 1 pair of shoes that fit. Who knew shopping with a 12 year old boy could be so difficult? I’m completely worn out.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Jun
20
I distinctly remember the talk my mom had with me about the “birds and the bees”. It was brief, mostly about what would be happening to my body as I got closer to puberty, and then it was never mentioned again. I was given a book, which was helpful, but that was it. Ever since I became a mom I’ve been determind to do a better job tackling this subject with my own kids.
I have sons. I still wanted to have this great open dialogue with them, I just wasn’t sure they’d want that with mom. My oldest son set the stage by starting to ask, pretty insistently, where babies come from. We’d given him the basic explanation when he was small, babies are gifts from God. Well, it’s true, and it was an easy answer.
But at about the age of 9 he started asking more often, so when he was 10 we expanded on our explanation a little. Both my husband and I talked to him about boy parts and girl parts, and what the mom and dad actually do to get pregnant. He was very grossed out, covered his face with his pillow and said please stop talking about it. Which we were happy to do.
Then when he turned 11, his body started changing, and he had more questions. He chose to ask some of his questions at the dinner table, which embarrassed my husband a little but delighted me. I want to be the parent that the kids feel comfortable talking to, about anything. And I think I have to work a little harder to be that parent with sons, because they’re naturally more comfortable talking to their dad about guy stuff.
That began what has evolved into a really on going conversation about pretty much everything. When they studied anatomy in science, he came home and asked me questions about the stuff that happens to girls, which we hadn’t talked about yet. I’ve made it clear that what he hears at school from his buddies won’t always be accurate, so I’d like him to ask me anytime he’s not sure about something.
I hope to always have this open conversation with both my sons, but I did turn to a book for help. A friend recommended Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle. I read it first, then let my son read it. The author recommends reading at the same time as your child and discussing each section, but our way worked for us. It’s divided into 2 sections, one for 11-12 year old boys and another section for older teens. We’ve only gone through the first section.
That particular booked worked for us, it meshes with the values we’re trying to instill in our boys, especially how to treat girls. It’s not a biology book, I chose it because it’s a great way to jump start our ongoing conversation, and because it echoes our beliefs. I’m sure there are many other great resources for parents trying to get this particular conversation started.
I don’t think it matters which book you use, or if you use a book at all. Just talk to your kids. Start early, and when they stop asking you questions, then you ask them questions. No matter how uncomfortable or downright embarrassing, they need to know they can talk to you about anything.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Jun
17
I love my little corner of the world. I love it so much, I never want to venture out of it. Not because it’s just the best little corner, but because I don’t like change, and I avoid it at all costs. This trait has gotten worse the older I’ve gotten, and it’s not a good thing. I don’t want to hold myself back, but if it involves changes then I’m not sure I want to move forward, either. It’s one of my many challenges.
I’ve been following some phenomenal, brave women who are venturing far beyond their little corner of the world. In 2005, Roz Savage became the first woman to complete the Atlantic Rowing Race solo. Now she is on a mission to become the first woman to row solo across the Pacific Ocean. I’ve been following her adventure for awhile now, talk about moving outside of your comfort zone!
I’m also following Jen Lemen’s adventure to Rwanda. It all began here and now the trip is over and her stories from Rwanda are touching my heart and opening my eyes in so many ways. Not only did she step way outside her corner of the world, her experiences in Rwanda have helped me and many others to know that the life we have is so very blessed. And that my world is so very small.
I love this quote from Roz Savage :
“I believe that if you don’t keep pushing the boundaries, your comfort zone will become smaller and smaller until you’re effectively shrink-wrapped; you can’t achieve anything, you can’t grow.”
Sounds like she’s talking directly to me with that.
If you’re like me, and you’ve become way to comfortable staying in your little corner, then check out rozsavage.com and jenlemen.com. Two inspirational stories, two incredible women, and they just might inspire us to branch out a little.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Jun
16
The rain finally cleared, briefly, so we were able to get in a couple baseball games this weekend. I, however, spent quite a bit of my Sunday on a mission to find my lost set of keys.
I couldn’t figure out how I lost such a huge set of keys. It’s got several keys, a car alarm remote, and a mini flashlight - my sons are boy scouts, ok. So it’s not like it was one lone key that I lost.
I actually realized I couldn’t find these keys a few days ago, but figured they would turn up without me having to look for them. That would have been way too easy though. I literally looked for several hours, starting with the places I normally put my keys and eventually cleaning out drawers and closets. See, this particular key set had our spare house key, spare car key, miscellaneous keys that we don’t know what they go to, and the only key to my brother’s house, which he entrusted me with while he’s out of town. That is why I was frantically looking for the keys, because while I am used to losing my own stuff, I really didn’t want to have to tell him I lost his key.
I looked everywhere, no keys. I called places that I knew I’d been to see if someone had found them, nothing. I was starting to have an anxiety attack at the thought of admitting that I’d completely lost that key ring.
At that point, Tanner came in my room with a big smile on his face. He asked how happy I would be if he found my keys. I almost snapped at him til I realized he was holding the keys. He found them IN THE FREEZER. Right where I laid them while I unloaded groceries a few days ago.
What, you don’t put your keys in the freezer? I’m the only one?
I would like to say that this type of thing is a rare occurrence in my house, but that would be a lie. It’s never ending excitement around here.
If you regularly, or not so regularly, do things like that, feel free to let me know, so that I can prove to my husband that it’s not just me!
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Jun
14
My husband is the strong silent type. Seriously. The boys and I see his goofy side occasionally, but typically he’s pretty reserved. I balance that out well, with my extra helping of goofy. But reserved or not, he’s hands down the best father I know.
When I was growing up my dad was either traveling for work, or working 12 hour days so I rarely saw him. When I did see him, he was always fighting exhaustion, with not much left for his 2 rambunctious kids. And that’s ok, he was still a good dad. Just a different kind of dad.
My husband is actively involved in our boys’ day to day, minute by minute lives. He has been front and center since the day our first child was born. He never met a dirty diaper he couldn’t handle, and when I was exhausted with a 1 week old that wouldn’t sleep, he took over even though he had to be up for work. With both of our boys, he would take the 5:30am feeding, so I could get a little sleep.
He’s been a hands on dad through all of it, preschool, t-ball, cub scouts, everything. And the greatest part is, he absolutely loves every minute of it. I’ll admit, I get tired of all the running around, places to be every weekend. When I start to complain, he reminds me that it won’t always be this way, soon they’ll be driving and won’t want us around. We have to enjoy this while we have it. He’s right, of course.
He’s the cub scout leader for our youngest son, has been for several years. That’s fine, but when he also agreed to be assistant coach for the baseball team, I questioned his sanity. How many obligations does he really need?! His response:
But I love it.
And I love him for that. For loving all of it, the good, the bad, and the crazy.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
