Jun

24

Happy birthday son




My son Tanner turned 13 yesterday. Why didn’t I post about this on his actual birthday you might ask. Well, because I was glued to my phone hoping that he would call his mama on his birthday, since he’s away at camp and I had no way to call him.

Did he call? Nope.  I know, that’s a good thing because it means he’s having a great time and is keeping busy. But I wanted to talk to him! (insert whiny voice)

But let’s go back a minute and reflect on the fact that he is now 13! Hard to believe that I’m the mom of a teenager.  I honestly don’t know where the past 13 years went, and why they flew by so quickly.

I attended the parent meeting for incoming 6th graders last August, and something the principal said really stuck with me. She said the kids look older, act older, and want to be treated like they are older. But now is the time to hold them close, rein them in, don’t let them go. I love that, because it echoes what I believe about parenting kids this age.

My son has alot of responsibilities at home. But he does not have alot of freedoms. We expect alot from him. But we haven’t loosened our hold on him, so to speak. We don’t drop him off at the local movie theatre on Friday nights. He’s not allowed unlimited access to the internet or cable tv channels. Would it be easier to let him do those things? Of course, because he desperately wants that freedom, and because so many of his peers already are allowed to do those things. But we hold our ground, no matter how ugly it gets.

I don’t have all the answers for raising teenagers, in fact I don’t have any answers because we’re just starting on this journey. But I am holding him close, keeping him near to me where I know it’s safe. I can see the internal struggle waging in him. He still gives me spontaneous hugs, and if no one is around he will happily build with his Knex set. But he told me recently that he is almost an adult,and he should have more privileges than he does. My initial response to that was to laugh, but he wasn’t joking. He believes that, he wants it to be true. He wants to be independent while at the same time he clings to us when life gets too overwhelming.

I have many hopes and dreams for him. But right now I mainly want to provide him with a safe haven, a place where he knows he’s loved and cherished and not judged. It’s a fine line, keeping them safe and secure but also letting go just enough to help them grow and learn.

So even though I’m missing him like crazy right now, and I hate being away from him on his birthday, it does my heart good to think of him at camp. Playing, laughing, swimming, carefree. Which is how a kid should be.

Happy birthday Tanner. Mom loves you always.

 

And any other moms of teens out there, feel free to chime in with advice. I know I can use it.

  • Be careful what you ask for
  • My baby’s birthday
  • Happy Anniversary baby


    • Add to Technorati Favorites
    New here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email. add to kirtsy


    Filed Under Family, Me, My boys | 6 Comments 

    6 Responses to “Happy birthday son”

      1
      2
      3
        Deja vu | Unexpected Bliss on October 2nd, 2008 12:14 am

        [...] mentioned before that my oldest son is very much like me. It’s really spooky sometimes, how similar we are. So when I tell a story [...]

      4
      5
      6

    Leave a Reply