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Jul
22
I just read a very inspirational post by Kyran at Notes to Self. You have to read it, then look into your heart and see if you could find the courage and love to do what she did.
This is something I struggle with as a mom. When people ask me what I want for me kids, my answers don’t include riches or admission into the best college. What I want most for them is that they be kind. To everyone. Not just to people “like them”, whatever that means.
I used to be so much more judgmental than I am now, now that I’ve got more than a few rough years under my belt. Now when I start to judge my instinct is to consider whether or not I’ve walked even a minute in that person’s shoes. Most of the time, I haven’t. That’s enough reason for me to check my judgment, to stop making assumptions and instead just care. And be kind.
My kids have questions when they see the homeless wandering the streets. My oldest has started being judgmental, which I suppose is normal. But it’s not acceptable. I’ve explained to them that any number of things led to those people not having a place to live. Any number of things that could happen to any of us. It’s important for him to understand that bad things, things you can’t control, can happen to anyone. Life happens, and it’s not always pretty.
We’ve told our sons that they will go to college, we’ve talked about the importance of education and making the most of your education. A few weeks ago we were stuck in some highway construction and my son was noticing the construction workers. His comment was that “somebody didn’t go to college”. My response was, do you think everyone has that choice? Do you think the good things you have in your life are guaranteed for everyone?
I probably came across a little harsh with him, only because this topic is so important to me. I want him to appreciate his life, his gifts, his blessings. I also want both of them to understand that we all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, no matter what cards we’ve been dealt in life. It’s a simple, basic lesson, but it’s taken a lifetime for me to learn it, and I’m still learning it every day.
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3 Responses to “Lessons that matter”
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amy on July 28th, 2008 5:11 pm
yes yes!
Queen of the Click on July 30th, 2008 3:09 pm
Although you think you may have come over a little bit harsh, know that your son learned a big lesson.
How do I know? I was that kid sitting with my Dad one day and I got that same answer. Did I get the message? Yup, I valued what my Dad said. Year later, I repeat that same message to my students because I want them to find value with every person they meet.
Sheri on July 31st, 2008 12:03 am
Thank you. I hope that he did learn a lesson, I had to learn it to as a kid and I know I just have to keep reinforcing it.