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Aug
30
Let’s have some Labor Day giveaways!
5 Minutes for Mom is giving away a years supply of Scott paper towels and and $50 Visa gift card. Enter before September 15.
Bloggy Giveaways is giving away a lovely necklace from Swede at Heart. I’m not a big jewelry person, but these necklaces are just adorable. Enter by September 2.
Deal Seeking Mom is giving away a Flip Digital Video Camera. Enter by September 7.
This Full House Reviews is giving a way a Lands End backpack, perfect for back to school. Enter by 10am on September 3.
Accidental Mommies is giving away 5 Furminator deShedding tools. I’m still trying to win one of these for myself. Enter by noon on September 2.
Scribbit is giving away a set of Let’s Get Ready for Kindergarten books. Enter by 12am September 1.
Wendy at Shopping Gems is giving away some neat Americorps items, including a denim shirt, polo shirt, backpack and more. She also has some good information about Americorps, which offers some great volunteer opportunities. Enter the giveaway by September 6.
I have to mention, I recently won from a blog giveaway! I won a copy of the Prima Princessa DVD that was given away at From Dates to Diapers. I’m sending this to my niece, she will be thrilled. So keep entering these giveaways!
Have a great Saturday, and a great Labor Day weekend.
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Aug
28
Have you ever had something happen that really affected you, how you think and how you live? Something that maybe only lasted an instant, but stayed with you for a very long time?
A couple of years ago I had to drive into the city, which is about 20 miles from the suburb I live in. It was a rainy summer day, started out just cloudy but the storm whipped into a frenzy right after I got onto the highway. For some reason there was quite a bit of traffic that morning.
I am a very cautious driver. I was driving even more carefully in that storm. But there were some pokey drivers in the right hand lane, braking more than was necessary, so I scooted over to the left lane. Still driving carefully, but I didn’t want to be stuck behind a nervous driver who might brake unexpectedly.
Before I knew it I was surrounded by cars on each side, and the rain was slamming down. I was going slow, we were all going slow, but suddenly I felt my tires sliding. I didn’t panic, I assumed since I was going slow everything would right itself if I didn’t do anything stupid like slam on my brakes. So I didn’t.
But I kept sliding. I completely lost control of my car, but instead of sliding into the person to the right of me, or in front of me, I slid into the grass center lane. I had absolutely no control of my car. I could see that I wasn’t slowing down, just still sliding across that grass center. Right towards the metal dividers.
I didn’t hit the metal divider, but kept sliding, all the way across that center strip. When I realized the car wasn’t even close to stopping or slowing down, I screamed NO, hard enough that my throat hurt. Coming towards me, in the other lane that I was sliding towards, was a cement truck. A picture flashed through my head of my car sliding out onto the highway, right into the path of that truck. Or worse, sliding clear across and careening over the drop off. Either way, I was scared to death and couldn’t do a thing.
It seemed like the whole thing took forever, but it was seconds. My car went up onto the highway, facing the oncoming traffic. But instead of sliding out into the line of traffic, my car lined up right beside the divider, and stopped. No one hit me. In fact, as I caught my breath and looked around, there was very little traffic coming towards me now, just a stray car here and there.
It took a couple of seconds for me to get myself together, I couldn’t think of what I needed to do to get out of there and back in the right direction. I finally just tried to drive. I pulled forward a couple of feet til I was past the highway divider and got back into the grass center lane. I was amazed that my car was working, but I turned it around and headed back home.
I made it to the closest Quik Trip and pulled in, shaking and crying. I got out and looked at my car. The only sign of what had just happened was the wet grass all over the bottom of the car. Not a scratch, even though I had been so close to that highway divider that I couldn’t have opened my passenger door.
I have to keep saying it, not a scratch. I lost control of my car, on a busy highway, flew across the center lane and ended up going the wrong way in the far lane. Amazing.
That was a life changing moment for me. I had been going through a rough time, dealing with depression, anxiety and a spiritual crisis. I felt alone, and worthless. I often questioned if my family might be better off without me.
But when I screamed NO in my car, I meant No, I’m not done yet. Somehow, someone listened.
Honestly, I don’t know why it turned out the way it did. I just know that I will always remember that rainy morning. For weeks afterwards, whenever I drove by that spot, you could see my tire tracks crossing the grass and coming thisclose to that median. They were that deep in the muddy grass. That made me shake and cry all over again, not with fright, but with gratitude.
Have you had a life changing moment, or moments? If you did, how did it affect you, how did it change you? Did it wake you up, like my life changing moment did for me?
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Aug
27
I loved reading all the comments on the Life is a Verb giveaway, I got some great book ideas. Thank you to everyone who entered.
I used random.org to pick the winners. Here are the winning numbers:
Here are your random numbers:
104 54
Timestamp: 2008-08-27 14:20:38 UTC
Congratulations Brenda S. and Kristy! Look for an email from me to get your mailing information. This is one giveaway I was really excited about, I think you’ll love this book.
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Aug
25
This is a painful post to write. I started out trying to write it as a humorous anecdote about our family, but it’s not funny, at all. I feel like I need to write it, maybe there is someone out there who needs to read it. So here goes.
Our whole computer addiction started out innocently enough. Club Penguin, anyone? My oldest son never got into Webkinz, kind of skipped right over that. He likes manga, likes to watch manga and draw manga. He started making mixed videos, mixing cartoons with music. His dad and I were ok with that, in fact it was just another artistic, creative outlet for him. That started about a year ago.
He was very good at making these videos, and soon had a kind of following on the sites he went to. I watched it closely, it really was just a bunch of kids making these videos and rating their favorites. I had his email password, which I didn’t need because he never got any emails.
He saved his money to buy some video making software, and started putting his videos on YouTube. I watched this even more closely, that’s a little too “wide open” for me. But I still didn’t see him doing anything risky, he just wanted to make videos. And he was part of a community of kids making these same type of manga videos, they had contests and “video wars”. Seemed harmless. Besides, we have blocks and filters on our computer, so it must be safe.
This became his favorite hobby, but he still did great in school, kept up with scouts and karate, so we were actually just glad he had a hobby that let him be creative. It went on for awhile, and he kept reminding me of something I had said years ago, that he could probably have a computer when he turned 13. He turned 13 in June. I never wanted my kids to have their own computer, but the only computer we had is my work pc, and all of his videos were really slowing it down. I was ready to have my own computer, just for work, so we got the 2nd computer for everyone else.
The problem was, my husband doesn’t get online at home, my younger son doesn’t get online at all, so it was essentially my older son’s pc. And that’s where the story gets a little ugly.
We set time limits on the computer, but it was summer, so we were more lax than we normally would be. It was a couple of weeks before I realized that we might be headed towards a problem. At first we thought, it’s just the newness of it, he’ll get tired of it. But he didn’t. He stopped returning his “real life” friends’ phone calls. He stopped playing with his brother. He didn’t want to participate in any of his extracurricular activities. When we forced the issue, he was furious, and became sullen and moody when he was with us. He didn’t want to do anything but be online.
We set more limits, and when school started I was relieved, because now he wouldn’t have time to be online. My rule was no computer Monday through Thursday, only on the weekends. It was a constant battle, me telling him to get off it, him asking for just a few more minutes. And when he wasn’t online, he was miserable.
We finally confronted him about it, about how he was missing out on life by being online. That those weren’t his friends, it wasn’t real and it could be dangerous. He told us that those were his true friends, they knew him better and understood him better than anyone else.
If we were looking for a warning sign, we had it then. Bright red, flashing neon lights going off.
I don’t think the internet is inherently bad for kids. I think it’s a great resource. I am aware of the dangers and I’ve talked openly and honestly with my kids about internet predators. But it’s more than online stalkers that parents have to worry about. When you have a kid, a teenager going through all the changes and struggles that come with just being 13, a kid who has always been insecure, always had self esteem issues, the internet becomes the safe place. You can be whoever you want online. You can play whatever role you want. It’s so much easier than real life. And it’s so easy for lonely, confused kids to get caught up in all that the internet has to offer.
My son wasn’t doing anything truly bad online, but he had crossed over into obsession. My husband and I didn’t realize that the YouTube community he was part of was essentially the same as MySpace, and potentially just as dangerous. When I did my little investigation of other kids’ profiles on YouTube, I was shocked and also saddened.
We had a long, emotional talk with him. We explained that those online relationships are not true. We explained, as we have many times before, the danger of internet predators. We explained that a lot of the stuff on YouTube and other social sites is degrading to girls, even if the girls are the ones putting it out there. We’ve had all these talks before, but this time it was more real.
The computers are locked now, with passwords that only my husband and I know. My son knows that it will be a very long time before he uses a computer for anything but schoolwork, and even then only with one of us right by his side. It’s too risky, he’s too vulnerable, and he’s too important to us.
We expected a few rough days after the computers were locked. Some anger, some fits, probably a lot of moodiness. We’ve been surprised. Both of us commented after our talk with him that there was almost a sense of relief on his part. He asked today if I would check his latest video, the one he finished right before we confronted him, and see how many views it had gotten. I said no. I told him he needed to make a clean break, so I wanted to cancel his YouTube account. He agreed.
I think he knew, deep down, that this was getting out of hand. He was becoming obsessed, addicted and couldn’t walk away. Maybe he missed us as much as we missed him.
I’m just glad we got him back.
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Aug
23
Scribbit is giving away 2 Peace Love Mom t-shirts. These are so cute, I’m definitely entering this one. Enter by midnight Monday August 25.
Kailani at An Island Life is giving away a cotton backpack from Warm Biscuit. Enter by August 28.
At Bloggy Giveaways they’re giving away a $100 gift certificate to Flower Peddler Bath & Beauty. Enter by Monday August 25.
A Book Blogger’s Diary is giving away a copy of The Night Villa by Carol Goodman. Enter by midnight August 26.
Also on A Book Blogger’s Diary, you have until midnight August 31 to enter to win a copy of Left to Die by Lisa Jackson.
Chefdruck Musings is giving away 1 copy of the new Handy Manny DVD, Manny’s Pet Roundup. Enter before Monday, September 1.
You still have time to enter my giveaway. I’m giving away 2 copies of Life is a Verb by Patti Digh. Hurry, enter before midnight on Monday, August 25.
Good luck, and have a great weekend.
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Aug
20
I went to school in a town of about 500 people, with 15 kids in my graduating class. One main street, one restaurant, no stoplights, no Walmart, no movie theatre. It was a child’s paradise, I just didn’t know it at the time.
I spent my days wandering the town, walking everywhere, swimming and fishing in creeks. My brother and I walked by ourselves to the pool everyday in the summer, starting when we were probably 11. We all looked forward to getting our drivers license, so we could “drag main street”. And that’s all there was to do, just drive.
When I wasn’t dragging main street - because my parents needed the truck that they let me drive occasionally, I was walking everywhere, either by myself of with friends. No cell phones, no email, no internet. We walked and talked for hours. I walked by myself when I was bored, out to the old cemetary on quiet country roads, out to the gas station which was the closest thing to a Quik Trip that we had. Over to my grandma’s house, to bake cookies.
I had 500 parents, because everyone in that town knew me, knew my parents and wouldn’t hesitate to call them if they saw me doing something I shouldn’t. There were no strangers in my town. When I stayed out too late in the summer, hanging out on Main Street with friends, talking to the harvesters who came to town for 2 weeks in June, my dad just drove up there to get me. They always knew right where I was.
When I was a senior my parents had to move back to the nearest bigger city, for health and job related reasons. They knew I wouldn’t want to move so close to the graduation. They let me stay, my mom came back and forth on weekends as much as she could, but for all intents and purposes I was on my own that spring and summer before heading off to college. So what happened, an 18 year old on her own for the first time? Nothing. I continued to go to school, work my part time waitressing job, and drag main street. I still had 500 pair of watchful eyes on me, many whom were relatives, so my parents didn’t worry. I didn’t worry either. It was just life.
It was a blissful childhood, and I didn’t know it. I’ve only just recently began to realize it. When I had to explain to my boys that they can only ride their bikes around our own block, and I would stand on the sidewalk and wait for them, I thought of the endless hours I spent roaming my little town, with no worries. When I had to set up filters on our computers because of the danger that lurks there, I thought of how my parents were able to leave me alone for over a week at a time, with no worries.
When my son came home today and said he was afraid of going to the mid high school next year, because one of his teachers had told them that kids have brought guns to school at the mid high, I thought of my childhood in my tiny town, the one with no worries.
Back when I was 18, headed out of town to the university, I never thought I’d say this. But I do miss my Mayberry. I miss it for my kids.
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Aug
18
I have to have this giveaway now, I just can’t help myself. I’ve been reading Life is a Verb by Patti Digh, and I love it. I wanted to wait til I had finished reading it to give a copy away, but it’s too good. I want to read it slowly, savoring it the whole time. So, I can’t wait, I have to do it right now. I promise, you will love this book.
I am giving away 2 copies of Life is a Verb. 
To Enter:
Please leave a comment telling me one, or more, of your favorite books. I am always looking for new reading material.
I will pick the winners using the random.org generator and will notify them via their email. Open to US addresses only. It’s one entry per person, but you can earn extra entries.
To earn extra entries:
- Subscribe to my feed You can subscribe through a feed reader or you can also subscribe by email and have posts sent to your email address. If you’re not familiar with RSS feeds and would like to know what the heck it is , click here.
- Mention this giveaway on your blog with a link back here.
Please leave 1 extra comment for each additional entry, telling me which you have done (ie 1 extra comment if you subscribe, 1 extra comment if you mention this on your blog)
This giveaway will end at midnight CST on Monday August 25. The giveaway has ended. I will announce the winners later on today. Thanks for entering!
Be sure to visit Patti’s blog, 37days for more great reading.
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Aug
18
I’ve posted before about changes in my work situation. Changes meaning, I’m unemployed as of right. about. now. Ouch.
I’ve been so blessed to work from home for the past several years, but it’s kind of insulated me from the job situation “out there”, in the real world. I work in jobs where I never actually see my coworkers or employer. I’m ok with that.
But I decided that it was time for me to branch out, put myself out there and apply for some different things. It’s been 11 years since I’ve really had to job hunt like this. What a rude awakening I’ve had! The biggest difference now is that it’s all done online. And I found out that several of the places I’ve been sending my resume to have some type of computer scanning system, it scans your resume looking for relevant experience or history, and if the computer doesn’t find what it’s scanning for, your resume is history! Let me just admit, I’ve been getting a lot of rejection emails.
Rejection is hard, especially when I haven’t even gotten to the point of a face to face interview with anyone. Even though I’ve worked steadily for the past 4 years, I’m finding out that working from home isn’t really taken seriously, unless I apply for other work from home jobs, similar to what I’ve been doing.
So, I’m back to doing that. Applying for more of the same thing that I’ve been doing for the past 4 years. And I have gotten several interviews, so that helps take the sting of all the other rejections away. Not completely though. This has been a tough process, first the blow of losing a project that I really liked, then the realization that I can’t just run out and get whatever job I want. Ouch, again.
I found a great post at Gypsy Girl’s Guide about the things that hold us back from finding and reaching our dream. This just really spoke to me, because I sometimes feel like I’m on a treadmill, going faster and faster, but still nowhere. I’ve written about not knowing what I want to be when I grow up , but along with the not knowing, when will I have the resources and the time to figure out what I want, much less to actually pursue my dreams?
This job search is not about finding my dream, not even close. To be painfully honest, it’s about finding a paycheck. How many of you have gotten off the treadmill, figured out what you want and went for it? Are you working and living your dream? Are you taking steps in that direction? I’d love to know, I could really use some inspiration right about now.
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Aug
16
Chefdruck Musings is giving away 6 months free Sittercity membership. What a great idea, and if you can’t use a sitter for yourself that would be a much appreciated gift for someone who can. Enter by August 22.
Island Life is giving away a Clothespins! game. My kids always loved family game time, this one looks fun. Enter by August 22.
dkMommy Spot is giving away a $25 Whole Foods gift card. Enter by August 22.
5 Minutes for Mom is giving away 2 grocery cards, 1 for Stop and Shop and 1 for Giant. What a great prize, we could all use a little extra grocery money right now! Enter by August 29.
Lisa Reviews is giving away a Sony Digital Photo Frame. Enter by August 24.
Scribbit is having 2 giveaways. One is for a Crazy Creek portable chair, and the second giveaway is for a Wupzey highchair food catcher along with a Prima Princessa dvd. I just want to know, where were those highchair food catchers when my kids were babies? What a neat idea. Enter for both giveaways before 12am August 18.
You still have time to enter for a $50 Amazon gift card from Robyn’s Online World. Enter before August 29.
Robyn has also started a blog network for parents of teens. As the mom of a teenager, I’m starting to realize that it’s a whole new world, and that I can use all help I can get. I look forward to sharing experiences and getting advice from other parents of teens. Visit We Have Teens and start sharing your stories today.
Enjoy the weekend!
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Aug
15
I’ve been debating whether or not to write about this all day, whether or not to publicly vent about a rather personal matter. Finally I decided to vent, maybe someone will have some feedback for me.
My oldest son, Tanner, just started 7th grade. In our town 6th, 7th, and 8th grade are all separated, completely separate schools. So it’s all new teachers every year. I like that the grades are separated, but it does make it a little stressful for the kids to have to learn to navigate a new school each year.
A little background, so you can understand where I coming from. As far as school goes, I’ve always told my kids, it’s kind of like a job. You will have teachers (bosses) whom you may not like, or who may not like you. You still go to school (work) every day, and do your best to either get in their good graces or stay under their radar. But if you get in trouble at school, you most likely will be in trouble at home, even if it’s a rule we don’t necessarily agree with.
See, for the most part I’m a conformist. If it’s the rule, then I’m going to try my hardest not to break it. I avoid conflict, and that works for me. I think it’s a good policy when it comes to school. I’ve never gone marching up to my childrens school with a complaint or gripe about something a teacher said or did. It would take a lot for me to do that, because I think it is like a job, it’s their job and they have to go.
There was only one time, when Tanner was in 1st grade, that I felt like I had a reason to go marching up to the school. My husband disagreed, he felt like it was the spring semester, not much longer to go so just keep the peace. Looking back, with several more years of parenting under my belt, I know now that I should have gone to the school and discussed the situation with the teacher, possibly with the principal. It might not have changed a thing, but it would have shown my son that we were on his side, and that certain behavior is unacceptable, even for a teacher. But I can’t change that, and I’ve never had a situation come up again where I considered going to talk to the teacher privately.
My kids are very similar to me, they’re pretty quiet, they’re good students, and I’ve never gotten a phone call from a teacher or had any bad reports on my boys. They want to be good in school, and to do well. Sure, they can be little stinkers at home, but they’re not at school.
So Tanner started 7th grade. He told me about all of his teachers, he liked them all and had a good first day. He did mention that in English, he and his buddy were chatting and the teacher made him sit on the floor instead of at his desk. I’d never heard of that particular consequence, but to each his own. I make it a point to not question the teachers. They’ve got plenty to deal with.
On the 2nd day of school, Tanner told me that he had an “incident” in English, which is his last class of the day, and his teacher got really mad at him. I halfway thought he was joking, my sons like to tease me. But I could tell by the look on his face he wasn’t joking.
Apparently, a friend of his had to sit on the floor again during class, then this same friend got called up to the teachers desk for a private talk. Tanner and another buddy didn’t know what happened, so after the final bell rang and kids were dismissed for the day, he and this 2nd friend waited in the hall for the kid who had to go up to the teachers desk. They just wanted to ask him what happened. They asked, he answered, and the 3 of them laughed. I guess the teacher had been standing by the classroom door, because she called Tanner and his friend back into the classroom. She wanted to know why they were talking to the other kid, and she told them to leave him alone. Then she said something to the effect of, if this behavior continues I will swat you, and I will have you removed from Honors English.
What just happened here???
Threatening to swat a child, for talking and laughing in the hallway after class was over? Threatening to remove him from the honors class, on the 2nd day of school? I’m more than a little confused, baffled, dumbfounded. Maybe I’m way off base, but that kind of consequence for that particular behavior seems a little like life in prison for stealing a pack of gum.
My first response to my son was, Are you sure she used the word “swat”? Because I didn’t know they even did that anymore, so I was shocked that she said that. Then I said, surely there’s more to it then, because what you did doesn’t match up with what she threatened to do about it. I questioned him repeatedly, told him to make sure he told me exactly what happened, in the right order, and everything that was said. I made sure he knew that I would be verifying this with the teacher. His story never changed.
I understand that teachers, especially teachers in the upper grades when kids are bigger, louder, and can be much harder to manage, have to establish control very early on. I get that, and I’ve always told my kids, be on your very best behavior the first few weeks, because these new teachers do not know you. They don’t know that you’ve never been in trouble and are good students, so you have to show them. I said that again this year when school started. Start off on the right foot.
Tanner was trying to start the year off right, and he didn’t understand at all why she was so mad, but he told her he was sorry. He was afraid I’d be mad at him, which I’m not. I felt like this was one of those times when I needed to let him know, we are on his side. I told him there won’ t be any swatting, or removing from the honors program, before I visit that school and find out exactly why.
I did find out that she is a very new, very young teacher. To me that explains a little about why she’d be coming down so hard on a kid so quickly. It doesn’t make it right, in my opinion. If either of my kids did something that deserved spanking or removing from the program, then by all means, go ahead. Teach them a lesson. But I don’t see the lesson here, and he doesn’t either. For the life of me, I’m not sure what happened, or why.
I don’t know what to tell him to do or not to do, because I don’t understand what happened. I told him, for whatever reason, this teacher already does not like you. So he has to try extra hard to stay out of her way, to keep his mouth shut, and to not give her any reason, no matter how small, to do the things she’s already threatened to do. I told him to not make a peep in her class, sit quietly and do your work. Just get through it.
I did send her an email. I waited until I calmed down. Then I simply told her that Tanner had told us what had happened, that we were very disappointed that the year started off badly, and that once she gets to know him she’ll find that he’s a good student. I also told her that he struggles with low self esteem, like many if not most 13 year olds, and to cover that insecurity he jokes and tries to be funny. But that we know he was not trying to misbehave in her class on the 2nd day of school.
I asked her to contact me if she had any concerns, that his dad and I both want this to be a good year for him. It was a nicer email than what I was feeling, but we have to get through this year.
I’d love to know what you all think about this, did I do the right thing, how could I have handled it better?
My husband thinks that at the very least I needed to also send an email to the principal, asking if it’s school policy to swat kids, if so for what type of offenses, and if it’s the school policy to remove kids from the honors class before they’ve even turned in a days work. He’s very angry, and that’s so surprising to me because he’s even more of a conformist than I am.
I couldn’t do it. I’m too worried about the backlash that will only hurt our son, if we manage to annoy and anger the teacher and the administration right off the bat. But part of me agrees with him, that a line was crossed for no good reason and by letting it slide we are letting the tone be set for the year.
How would you have handled this situation? What would you tell your child?
I’m still just baffled.
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