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Sep
3
As a parent, I question myself probably, oh, 80 times a day. Am I doing the right thing, making the right decision, am I helping my kid or making things worse. It’s a never ending struggle with lots of gray areas where I’m just not sure.
I wanted to post an update on the internet situation with my 13 year old son. We had to put passwords on our computers because he was becoming a little obsessed, to put it mildly, with the internet.
It’s been a little over 2 weeks and he hasn’t been online at all. I expected there to be some rough times, especially at first. Surprisingly, at first he seemed relieved and didn’t seem to mind too much.
He has asked a couple of time to get online. He wants to make videos again, and at times says he is so bored he might just die. Ok, I think I’ve heard that before, and I’m pretty sure boredom won’t cause death. When I tell him no, he doesn’t push it, which surprised me.
But the biggest surprise, one that we hoped for but weren’t sure was possible, is that he is my smiling, happy kid again. He is not only playing with his younger brother, he is seeking out his younger brother all the time, wanting to do things together. He is following his father around, asking to do things again, which you know my husband absolutely loves. He is excited about social events, excited about his extracurricular activities, and even happy to just sit by me and talk to me while I’m working. Did you catch that? He’s happy to talk to his mother! And his mother is just thrilled about that.
He even went with my husband and younger son last weekend to the local ball diamonds, to practice batting. This may not sound like a big deal, but he doesn’t play sports, he prefers art and music, and he hasn’t touched a baseball in years. He went because he was bored, had nothing else to do, and he had a great time. He asked them to take him with them when they go again.
All this, because his time is no longer taken up with being online, or being unhappy about not being online. He has rejoined the land of the living. That may sound dramatic, but the change in him is dramatic. He talks constantly, when my cell phone rang on the way home from school, he asked me not to talk long because he had so much to tell me. This, coming from a 13 year old!
I hoped that we would see a change in him. But I had no idea that the change would be this huge, or happen this quickly. I could not be happier about it.
I know there will be many more roller coaster rides as we go through the rest of his teenage years. I know I will make many mistakes as we go. But this time, I think we got it right.
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4 Responses to “Sometimes we get it right”
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Where did those little guys go?Cuteness overload
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Nanny on September 4th, 2008 4:39 pm
That is great! Glad it is working out so far! Also not sure if you have Vista Ultimate or not, but it does have a timer on it. My friend uses that for her child to be on the computer. He designated the times he would be on it and she approved it. Like an hour a day during the week.
Enjoy your “new” found child!
Sheri on September 4th, 2008 6:55 pm
That is a great idea. I finally figured out how to set the timer on mine, for him I just blocked out all day because right now he’s not online at all. Probably later on I’ll start setting it for an hour here and there. Right now I’m just enjoying the computer being off. Thanks!
High Heels And A Sippy Cup on September 5th, 2008 4:53 pm
I love it when the courage we have to do the hard things as parents pays off. (the quicker the better, always)
Kudos to you and your husband for having simple courage.
mary on September 6th, 2008 9:31 am
I am so happy to hear this! You guys did the right thing and I’m thrilled that your consistency and unwillingness to bend has paid off. This is definitely something all parents should read.