Subscribe to my blog via email
-
-
Dec
26
Lately I’ve noticed how things happen for a reason, even if maybe I can’t see the reason or don’t like the reason at first. I started having problems with my computer earlier this week, and I wasn’t able to use my usb port for anything. So I couldn’t print, couldn’t upload photos and my sons couldn’t sync their iPods. I knew they were getting iTunes cards for Christmas from their grandparents and they’d want to use them, so I ran to the store to get a self powered usb. The computer guy there said yes, that would fix it temporarily, but I had a bigger problem causing it not to work and if I didn’t fix the big problem eventually it would completely stop working.
The logic of fixing the big problem made sense even to me, and he said it would take an hour, two tops, for them to fix it if I brought it in. So I went home, brought the computer back, and waited. Three hours passed and no phone call, and I knew they closed early since it was Christmas Eve. I finally called them and they – of course – had found more wrong with my computer than they originally thought and there was no way it would be finished by the time they closed.
I had already warned my kids that was a possibility, so they were ok with waiting to use their iTunes cards. It was me that was bent out of shape about it. How could I blog? How could I check my very important emails? How could I Twitter? How could I live without the all mighty Internet!
I say I’m not addicted to the internet, but it’s so easy when my family is playing a game or watching a movie for me to sneak online. I do it all the time, and I would have probably done it on Christmas if I’d had my computer.
Instead, I played games with them, watched movies with them, and even snuck in a lovely nap. Never once did I hear my kids go “Dad, she’s on the computer again”. I think we all are glad that the computer was out of commission for Christmas. Even me.
We’re visiting my in-laws now, so I grabbed a few minutes to post this. I’m still pretty much offline though til we get home, and that’s ok.
I hope you had a wonderfully Merry Christmas.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Dec
23
This has been a crazy holiday season. With the kids getting out of school 3 days last week for bad weather, and the situation with my brother, all my plans have been kind of tossed out.
I really wanted to spend more time this year doing things for others. I had plans for my kids to do things to help with that, and it just hasn’t gotten done. We will be taking a big load of things to Goodwill today or tomorrow, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten. Actually, the list of things that I haven’t gotten done is longer than the list of things I did get done, but I can’t worry about that now.
I am trying to take note of how I’d like to do things differently next year. Besides my normal resolution to start addressing Christmas cards in November, there are some things I want to change to make our holiday more peaceful and less crazy. Most of it revolves around me getting started earlier on everything, so if there are any last minute crisis situations it doesn’t throw me into a tailspin.
This is probably the first time that I have my shopping done early, which is directly related to the fact that we’re not buying many presents this year. I think I like that, and will make it a tradition.
I just have some grocery shopping and cooking to do. Normally I don’t enjoy cooking, but I’m ok with spending most of Christmas Eve in the kitchen. Music playing, fireplace going, something yummy in the oven. I can take that.
My son has been asking for years to go to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. So far we’ve never agreed to that, but this year we are. Of course the only reason my husband agreed is because midnight Mass is not at midnight, it’s at 10pm. It’s been a long time since we’ve voluntarily been out past midnight, lol. I’m looking forward to it though. The service we normally go to is jam packed, so it will be nice to attend a quieter service.
I hope you’re all ready too, and don’t have to brave the shopping crowds today or tomorrow.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Dec
21
I wanted to post an update on my brother, after the scare we had on Thursday. He had a mild heart attack, and there are some other health issues going on that complicate things. He got to come home today, but will most likely have to go back for more tests and possibly surgery (not heart related) after the holidays. Nothing life threatening, thankfully, but definitely a wake up call.
Getting the phone call Thursday and rushing over there while the paramedics were there was so scary for me. About 3 years ago, paramedics were called to my next door neighbors house, he had a heart attack at the age of 40. But my neighbor didn’t make it. When my husband was driving to my brothers house Thursday, that’s all I could think about.
When my neighbor died so young, I remember thinking, that’s it, I need to get my priorities straight and concentrate on the most important things. I had good intentions, but life gets in the way of those. I’m determined now to set some realistic, yet hopeful goals for myself, steps I need to take in my life to get my priorities straight. I know it’s a cliche, when something like this happens we all think, I need to do better, and then continue down the path we’re on. But I really want to get off this path, and find the right path for me. And I’ve been reminded that we don’t have all the time in the world to do that.
I really appreciate and am so touched by the comments left after I posted about my brother. The kind words and thoughts mean so much to me
I was already not really feeling the holiday spirit this year, and now I’m having an even harder time getting into it. I feel thankful and blessed, but not at all into the hustle and bustle.
I finally gave up on the silly notion that I would ever get Christmas cards sent. I will mail 1 card tomorrow, to my grandma, because it’s unheard of to not send a card to her. But that’s it. No cards, no family picture. And I really don’t care right now.
I’m done shopping, except for groceries. We do a small meal on Christmas, since it’s just the 4 of us and we’ll be heading out of town the next day. Shopping, cooking and cleaning are about all I have left to do. Which isn’t bad, except that I just want to hibernate right now.
Unless I have a huge burst of motivation or energy, next week will be a slow posting week for me. The boys are out of school, so we’re going to make some gingerbread houses and do lots of yummy baking, and just enjoy each other. Well, my sons probably won’t enjoy each other, but I can enjoy them.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Dec
19
I wasn’t sure if I was going to even post today, but I decided I need to. I spent the night with my 5 year old nephew, after my brother was taken by ambulance to the hospital. He had a heart attack, at the age of 38.
It was scary, I was there when the paramedics came and am so glad that my nephew slept through the whole thing. They took him to our smaller local hospital but ended up moving him to a larger hospital in the next town, so they can run some tests.
Based on my conversation with the doctor last night, he’ll probably need to be on medication but hopefully no surgery. My family has a history of heart disease, my dad had his first heart attack at 36.
I’m worried, but hopeful, for my brother. But things like this also make me turn inward, and look at what I need to do to take care of myself better, to be healthier. When I finally got to lie down for a couple of hours this morning, my mind kept coming back to how blessed I am.
I’m going to be at the hospital most of the day, but as soon as my kids get home from school, those boys are getting hugged. Love your family today.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Dec
18
As I’ve said before, this teenager phase is making my head spin. When I think we’re settling into some kind of normalcy, everything changes again and what was ok yesterday is the end of the world today. I understand this, I remember when I was a teenager. But I don’t have to like it. I feel like I’m stumbling along this twisted path with a blindfold on, trying to find my way through.
I had to be a really mean mom this past weekend. Our typical Saturday night is usually to rent a movie for the whole family. This past Saturday Tanner got a text from one of his friends. Two of them were meeting at the local theatre to see a new movie, and they wanted to Tanner to meet them too.
I didn’t object to the particular movie they wanted to see, and I like the boys that were going to be there. But I said no. My son was shocked. He wasn’t in trouble, wasn’t grounded, as far as he could tell there was no reason for me to say no.
Unfortunately, there is a very good reason, so even though it makes me sad and angry and disappointed, I can’t drop my son off at the theatre. We live in a suburb, a nice town with good schools, and good kids. But there is all kinds of inappropriate activity going on at the movie theatre on weekend nights. It’s gotten so bad that it’s been written up in the newspaper. The theatre manager has asked for parent volunteers to patrol the theatre on the weekend, because they cannot hire enough staff to monitor it. When my son started 6th grade, at the parent meeting before school started, the principal made a point to say Do not drop your kids off at the theatre on a weekend night. Local churches have had public meetings over the situation. It’s that bad.
Maybe this goes on everywhere. It didn’t when I was growing up, at least not to the extent it does now. I didn’t believe it when I first heard the rumors, but with all the newspaper articles and meetings, I have to believe it now. But even with all that, I’ve been to the theatre on a weekend night with my husband, and hordes of pre-teens are still being dropped off. These are young kids, kids that can’t drive themselves. There is a game room at the theatre, so they can hang out there before and after the movie. But they’re not just hanging out and watching the movie.
My son was shocked when I said he couldn’t go. He was just so happy to be invited, he never even considered that I would stay no. He didn’t understand at all, all he knew was the he hadn’t done anything wrong. I had told him before, but probably quite awhile ago, that we wouldn’t be dropping him off at the theatre. I reminded him what the 6th grade principal had said. He said, but mom, that’s for 6th graders. I tried to explain that it wasn’t because he was in trouble, it wasn’t because I didn’t trust him, but that there are things going on there that I don’t want him to be a part of. I don’t know how much he knows about what goes on there, and I didn’t go into detail with him. My guess is that he has at least heard about it, because he didn’t push me for details.
I’m fine with punishing my kids, grounding my kids, and saying no to them, for any reason. But it is hard to have to say no in a situation like this, where he’s done nothing wrong. This is a “for your own good” situation, and I need to get used to it, because there will be many more. I’m very sad that it has to be this way. I’m sad for a generation of kids that have lost their innocence way too early. Not all of them, but I’m finding out that it’s alot of them. I don’t know what caused it, or what the solution is, other than for me to keep my sons as safe as possible, even if they get furious with me for it.
The hard thing for my son is that he wants everyone to like him. Let me clarify, he desperately wants everyone to like him. So for him to have to tell these kids no was just mortifying for him. He was angry at me, and didn’t talk to me for a little while. We went ahead and rented our movie and headed home for our typical Saturday night.
The funny thing is, he perked right up at home, enjoyed the movie and was pleasant to all of us, even his brother, the whole night. He never mentioned the movie again, which is not like him at all to not drag the issue out. I told my husband, he was in such a good mood, it almost makes me think that he was relieved that I said no. I know that sounds weird, but my husband agreed with me. Like deep down, he wanted me to say no.
If you have a teenager, what limits do you set? How old do they have to be before they’re dropped off, to hang out with friends in places like the mall or theatre? How old before they can (oh.my.gosh) date? I’d love to hear from people who are going through this or have survived gone through it. This really is the hardest job ever.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Dec
16
I’m feeling all out of sorts this Christmas. This is my favorite time of the year. I love Christmas trees, the lights, the music, everything. But this year I’m having trouble finding the Christmas spirit.
I’m pretty sure this has something to do with me getting (gasp!) older. I was talking to a good friend of mine earlier. She was saying that they were trying to cut back on spending money this Christmas, but that she still wanted her kids to see the big pile of presents under the tree.
This is where I’m feeling, well, different this year. Because for the first time, I don’t want a big pile of presents under the tree. Not that we’ve ever had a huge amount of gifts, because we’ve never been in a position to do that. But when the kids were little and all they wanted were $5 action figures or dinosaur toys, we could get by with spending very little but having quite a few gifts. Now that they’re older, the phrase “pile of gifts” is laughable.
The difference this year is that I don’t care. Since I had kids, I’ve been consumed with what I couldn’t do for them or couldn’t buy for them. I was afraid that they would be disappointed that we couldn’t afford a ginormous Christmas. I was envious of those who could spend endless amounts of money on gifts, and parties, and food. That envy sort of tainted my Christmas experience, but it was always there so I was used to it. This year, it’s noticeably missing.
In its place, I find myself seeking out the spirit of this season. I want to spend more time in church, and in prayer. I want quiet time, instead of hustle and bustle. Instead of wishing that I had tons of money to spend on my children, I wish that I had tons of money to spend on some other families that I know are hurting right now. Its not envy, but its still a deep longing for something that I don’t have. It feels better than envy, but still creates a chasm between where I am and where I want to be.
This is partly because I’m “growing up”. I can honestly say that if there were no presents under the tree for me, I wouldn’t be upset. Sure, there are things I want. But I know that I don’t need those things in order for it to be Christmas. The gifts that really matter to me won’t be wrapped in shiny paper, anyway.
Its not that I don’t love my children and want them to have gifts. I do, and they will. But more than anything, I want them to love Christmas like I do, with or without gifts. I want them to separate that notion of presents and stuff from what this holiday is really about. I want them to see that they don’t really need anything. Which is truly the best gift of all.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Dec
15
When my kids were little we got their pictures taken every year at Christmas. Now that they’re older, I try to get a good picture of them sometime throughout the year to send with Christmas cards. But this year, because my 13 year old is on a picture strike, I have very few pictures of them together. This makes me sad.
Today school was closed because of icy roads, and I finally had my chance to get some pictures of them together. It took several hours of pleading, but finally they agreed. They did not agree to dress up or anything like that, just a simple picture. Unfortunately, for my boys, simple picture is an oxymoron.
First, a disclaimer. I am no photographer, and I especially am not good at photographing people. But these two were so busy being clowns that even a professional wouldn’t have gotten a good shot. Let me demonstrate.
They fight and bicker constantly, but put them in front of a camera and they can’t stop giggling.
Then the goofiness really kicked in:
And more goofy:
I still don’t have any good pictures of them together, but I’ve captured the true essence of their spirits. Goofy, giggly boys. I love those guys. But I would really like a good picture.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Dec
14
You really wish you were at my house right now. Because I have this guy:
Making these yummies:
These are my favorite holiday treats. Nolan started making them a couple of years ago, and it’s become his tradition. He makes some for us and some to take to my in laws house when we visit after Christmas. He takes his job very seriously.
And I agree, I don’t think there are too many things that are more important than making covered pretzels at Christmas time. He’s very good at it too.
But then he kicked me out of the kitchen. All because of this:
I thought I was the official taste tester, but apparently the chef had other ideas.
What are some of your favorite holiday traditions? I’d love to hear what your family does to celebrate the season. And, I’d love to give someone a prize!
To Enter to Win a $50 Visa gift card:
Open to US addresses only. One entry per person, but you can earn additional entries.
- Leave a comment here telling me your favorite holiday tradition.
- Mention this giveaway on your blog.
- For an extra entry, sent a tweet on Twitter about this giveaway. Leave your Twitter name in your comment.
- Stumble this post
For each thing you do leave 1 comment ( 1 comment telling me your favorite holiday tradition, 1 comment for a tweet, 1 comment for a Stumble, 1 comment for mentioning this on your blog)
This giveaway will end Monday December 22 at midnight CST I have notified the winner and will announce here as soon as I hear back. Thank you everyone who entered.
Good luck!
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Dec
12
When my son turned 13, he all of a sudden decided he didn’t want his picture taken anymore. At first I thought he just didn’t want his picture on this blog, but I’ve learned that he doesn’t want anyone to take a picture of him, period. Well, that’s just not acceptable. I want some photographic memories of these teenage years!
My youngest son likes to get his picture taken, and take pictures himself. I hope he doesn’t grow out of this phase anytime soon.
Last weekend Tanner, the anti-photograph teenager, wanted to mess around with my camera and take some pictures. I said sure, but only if I could get some pictures of him, too. He didn’t actually agree to that. Here is what he came up with for me:
Seriously. Should I frame this, or have copies made to send in Christmas cards? He thinks he’s sooo funny.
This was another attempt to humor me:
You may think that you see all kinds of streaks and dirt on that window he’s looking through, but that’s just an optical illusion. Photoshop magic. I promise.
And what would a picture taking session be without this guy. He’s always a happy and willing subject. If only my kids were this cooperative.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
Dec
10
This is the first year that both of my kids know the truth about the big guy in the red suit. My oldest has known for several years, and we told him to keep that juicy tidbit to himself so he wouldn’t spoil it for his brother. Nolan has been wavering for awhile, so we figured last year was the end of it. And it was, now he knows exactly where the presents come from. And who has been eating all those cookies.
I’m a little sad, it’s one of those sweet childhood things that you hate to see go. But I’m also a little relieved. The problem with Santa is that he has an unlimited budget, or at least that’s the myth. We do not. In fact, our budget is even more limited this year. It’s easy to do stay on a budget when the kids are small, and want action figures or building blocks. Not so easy when they’re older and want electronics.
Besides the issue of money, I really want Christmas to be less about the stuff we get, and more about what we can give, and being grateful for what we already have. I cringe at the thought of fighting the crowds, waiting in line, spending money, all for it to be over in minutes. I want our holiday season to be more than that.
We had a talk with our sons about gifts, because even though they know “the truth”, they were ready to start making their lists. We gently told them that we weren’t really going to go with any lists this year, because list implies several, or many, gifts. We told them to pick 1 or 2 things that they really want, and if those things are too expensive then we’ll talk about it and try to come up with other things. I really hate saying the words “too expensive” to my kids. I don’t want them to ever worry about money.
And there is no reason to worry, we’re just not going overboard on buying gifts for Christmas. The bills are paid, the house is heated, there’s food on the table, and we’re all healthy. They just don’t see those things as gifts yet, but they will someday.
My family always gets an Angel from our church’s Angel Tree, and this year we got a 16 year old boy who was asking for a comforter for his bed. In the past we’ve gotten little kids who wanted toys. My youngest son was surprised that a teenager would ask for a comforter instead of something fun. I explained that if you don’t have a comforter, especially in the winter, you probably want that more than a toy or game. I told him that there are kids on the Angel tree asking for coats, or haircuts, and they are happy to get those things.
He was quiet for little bit, then out of nowhere he said “I’m sorry”. I asked what he was sorry for, and he said for not appreciating the things he has, when there are kids that don’t have much at all. After I wiped the tears from my eyes I gave him a big hug, and said we all need to be reminded how lucky we are now and then, even adults.
Do I think this means they’ll be happy with 1 or 2 small gifts this year? No, I don’t think so. Maybe at first, but then they will see or hear about what some of their friends get, and they’ll feel that nudge of jealousy. I feel it too, and I struggle to be content with what I have. But when they hear about kids who need coats or blankets, it plants a seed in their mind, and in their heart. A seed of thanksgiving, and hopefully the notion that we all have something we can give or do to help others, even if we feel like we don’t have much.
Which is really what I want Christmas to be about.
How do other parents handle this? If you have to cut back this year, for whatever reason, are you discussing it with your kids? How are you dealing with the disappointment and possible jealousy? I’d love to hear how others are dealing with this, because as usual I’m fumbling my way through this parenting thing, day by day.
New
here? Subscribe to Unexpected Bliss or have it delivered via email.
