Apr

2

Giant leaps of faith




You know that saying, when one door closes another opens?  I’ve been busy closing doors in my life in hopes that new ones will be opening soon.  I’m trying to think positive, but this is scary!

I work from home, and I work on projects until that partcular project ends.  In the past, projects have lasted several years, which is great.  This year, projects are lasting a few months then ending.  That’s very stressful, because despite the fact that I’ve worked with the same company for over 4 years, you have to reapply for every new project, and with so many people  looking for work, it’s competitive.  I had a  long term project end last August, but thankfully got a new one shortly after that.  Now that one ended last week, and my other project is ending in May.  We had two new projects posted this week to apply for.  Normally I would apply for anything and everything that opens up.  I am very qualified for both of them, because they are almost identical to one I worked on before.  But one pays quite a bit less, and the other is brand new, so there’s opportunity for quick advancement with it.  I debated and worried and struggled for a week, because I didn’t want to apply for the lower paying project.  Not just because of the money, although it would be a significant drop in pay, back to what I made four years ago, but also because I’ve been here 4 years and have been promoted to supervisor capacity in my past two projects, and I’d like to move forward, not backward.

I applied right away for the project that I wanted, then waited until 15 minutes before the deadline for the other project and called my husband in a panic.  I told him my dilemma, and without pausing for a second, he said Don’t apply for the one you don’t want.  So I didn’t.  I let that door close.

I haven’t heard anything on the project I did apply for.  But I also did something else.  I applied for two jobs that would mean working outside of my home.  This is a huge leap for me, because even though I’ve wanted this type of job for years, it’s hard to give up the freedom and flexibility of working from home.  I worry that all of a sudden my kids will need me at home, or that I’ll need time off and can’t take it.  All those kinds of worries have kept me from applying for jobs out of the home before, but now that my boys are almost 12 and 14, I really don’t have the same excuses.  And the job is part time, so I’m sure they can do without me for twenty hours a week.  It sounds pitiful, but the thought of having to get up and get dressed  up for work at a certain time every day is intimidating after so many years of setting my  own schedule.  But I really want this job, and it would be a step forward for my future.

Of course now that I’ve decided to apply for the jobs I want, I really really want to get one of them, even though I know there is a lot of competition.  I’ve been praying and thinking positive, “claiming” the job.  But I also have to be realistic, that I might not get it.  I decided that, since I now admit that I really want to work outside of my home, at least part time, if I don’t get the job now, I will volunteer at the place I want to work in an attempt to get my foot in the door for the next opening.  This is another huge leap for me, because I usually make the excuse that I don’t have time to volunteer because I have to work.  But I need to do this for me, because it’s really what I want.

I’m  such a creature of habit, I would stay with a job just because I’m comfortable there even though it’s not what I really want to be doing.  You know all this is keeping me up at night!  Please, say a prayer for me, think good thoughts, send out good vibes.  I need all the help I can get while I’m taking these big leaps of faith.

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    Filed Under Me | 4 Comments 

    4 Responses to “Giant leaps of faith”

      1
        Robyns Online World on April 3rd, 2009 6:37 pm

        Sending lots of positive thoughts that the best opportunity for you happens. I’m fascinated by your description and would love to know more about what you actually do for work.

      2
        Sheri on April 4th, 2009 8:17 am

        Thanks for the positive thoughts Robyn. I actually do a hodgepodge of jobs,lol. There are many companies who need customer service or other types of work done, and they pay you to work from home. I have done editing, which I love but its sporadic, and I have done travel reservations, which is fun, as well as several other types of customer service. I work as an independent contractor, so no benefits or vacation days. It’s very flexible, I can set my own schedule, but these jobs can end with little notice, my last one ended with an hours notice, so I’d really like something a little more stable than that.

        The job I applied for outside of the home is at our local library. I would love to work in the library, but I think it’s tough to get in there unless you do volunteer first.

        Although if I could just make my living blogging, I would take that :)

      3
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      4
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