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Jul
31
Earlier today I needed to run some errands and my kids needed lunch, so they came with me with the promise of drive through food. I won’t even tell you how long it took my kids to decide where they wanted to eat. They rarely get fast food so it’s a big production. They finally decided on Taco Bueno, which I haven’t had in years.
We go through the line and get the food then head home. I realized when we got home that they didn’t send all of the order – don’t you just hate that! We went back to get the rest of our food – I was going to go myself but apparently my children missed me so much while they were gone that they cannot stand to be away from me, so they came along. Really. I’m sure that’s why.
Between home and the drive through my oldest decided he needed more food, growing teenager and all that. I intended on explaining the missing food and ordering the extra food. Which should have been very simple. Except for my sudden transportation back to goofy adolescent.
I tried to say the word Muchacho but could not spit it out. Couldn’t do it. And that cracked me up so much that I dissolved in a fit of laughter that reminded me of junior high sleepovers. You know how you get to laughing so hard and you can’t pull yourself together? That was me. And I was mortified, because the nice lady was waiting for me to speak coherently. I tried to motion to my son to say it for me but he got to laughing so hard that he spit pop out his nose, so he was worthless. My older son was sitting in the back, pretending he did not know me.
It was at least a full minute before I could compose myself, which doesn’t sound like long but it is FOREVER when you’re laughing uncontrollably and someone, a mature adult, is waiting on you to knock it off. I was so embarrassed.
Finally I was able to speak somewhat normally and explained my situation. Although that word, muchacho, tripped me up again and I started laughing, but I got it out. After I pulled my car away from the speaker my oldest son said that she probably thought I was a teenager pulling a prank, and I’m sure he was right.
All I know is that I will never attempt to order a muchacho again. I can’t risk falling apart like that again.
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Jul
30
My boys are home from their long stay at their grandparents. Even though I missed them like crazy, the best part is that they were not crazy homesick or dying to come home. That’s good, because I really wanted them to enjoy their time with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. As all of us get older and busier, we just don’t get time with family like that very often.
When my family first moved from Kansas to Oklahoma, either relatives visited us or we went “back home” fairly often. By fairly often, I mean we saw our out of state family at least once a month. And that wasn’t nearly enough.
It was hard to move away, with two small children. My support system, my trustworthy babysitters, were all three hours away. And my oldest son was so attached to his grandma that whenever we pulled out of her driveway after a visit, he sobbed his little heart out. So did my husband and I.
But life goes on, and now they don’t visit nearly as much and neither do we. We have to work really hard to visit more than just on major holidays. We want to visit, but the kids are busy and there’s just a lot going on. It makes me kind of sad.
When I was a kid, probably around eight or nine, I spent part of the summer with my grandma. She lived in a tiny town, with nothing to do but swim, go to the park or the library. Which we did. She tried to teach me to bake and sew, bless her heart, and we visited all her friends. It was a glorious time, and I don’t say that lightly. There’s just something so safe and secure and relaxing about being with family, even as a kid.
I won’t even try to pretend that we don’t have family squabbles or disagree with things our family members do. That wouldn’t be true. But I love that they love my children. Not just love them, but cherish the time they spend with them.
Do you send your kids for extended visits with grandparents? Or if you’re the grandparent, do your grandkids get to visit? I highly recommend it.
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Jul
24
My kids are still at their grandparents. They were supposed to come home this weekend, but plans have changed. They usually stay for five or six days, but they’re older now and want to stay longer. I miss them like crazy, but they’re having a great time and their grandparents love having them, so I agreed.
My mom had been visiting here in Oklahoma off and on for awhile to help out with some other family members. So she’s seen my kids quite a bit recently. She’s back in Kansas now, and she called me today to tell me she’s just amazed at the change in my older son since he’s been visiting. She said he’s talking more than ever and almost giddy with happiness. She’s comparing it to when she saw him last, a few weeks ago here at home.
That is what I hoped would happen for my son. I don’t want to write about his personal stuff too much, but I think it’s ok for me to say that being a teenager today is hard. I’ve posted many times about how hard having a teenager is for me, but it’s even harder for him to navigate through this time. There’s so much going on, along with the expected peer pressure that they have to deal with. My son wants to help everyone, and he tries to carry the worlds troubles on his shoulders. He has mentioned problems some of his friends have and how they will call or text him all the time to talk about their problems. He has even said that he realizes what a great home life we have after hearing about some of his friends problems. I’m glad he can see his blessings clearly, but his shoulders aren’t big enough for all that, and I see it wearing on him.
He came home from band camp absolutely worn out. He worked hard and didn’t sleep enough, but there was also a different kind of exhaustion going on. He was tired of the drama, because at camp, he was surrounded by it all the time. He was so ready to go to Kansas for a week, just to get a break from it all.
They’ve been at the lake a lot of the time, where he can’t get phone calls or text messages, and it’s done him a world of good. My boy is relaxed and having a blast. I do miss them both so much, but it does my heart good to hear the happiness and lack of stress in his voice.
Maybe that’s what grandma’s house is for.
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Jul
22
Yesterday I met my sister in law halfway between here and where she lives in Kansas and dropped off my boys for their annual visit. They’ll spend time with my inlaws and my parents. They’ve been doing this for at least four years now, and this year I expected some resistance from my oldest. I didn’t think he’d want to spend a single day away from his friends.
I was wrong. He came home from his week at band camp starving, exhausted and tired of fourteen year old drama. He was ready for a week away. And really, they’re going to be with their grandparents, so it will be like a spa trip for kids. Sleep in, eat as much homemade, delicious food as you want and go out for ice cream at least once a day. I was actually wishing I could stay for the week too!
I love sending them for this yearly trip. I like that they still enjoy hanging out with their grandparents, and they get to spend time with their cousins. I know it won’t be long before they’re driving (gulp) and working, and won’t have time to visit like this.
But, and you knew there was a but, I still worry about them when they’re gone. I guess that’s always going to happen though, whether they’re at grandma’s house or college, or dare I say it, on their honeymoon.
Not that they will ever get married. Surely not.
So what am I doing with my week of freedom? Besides catching up on housework that’s been neglected all summer, I’ve been getting reaquainted with another man in my life. When the kids leave, my husband and I are like, hey, don’t I know you? It’s a nice, quiet time, and we can go for walks and rent whatever movies we want. It’s amazing how much free time we have when the kids aren’t here.
I’m not ready for the empty nest, not at all, but having this week with my husband is great. And no, I’m not counting down the days til the boys are home. Or texting them every few hours to see how they are. Or calling my sister in law to check on them. Nooo, I would never do that 
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Jul
20
My husband was noticing some webs on the ceiling fan in our living room this weekend – he’s very good at noticing things you don’t necessarily want noticed. I could go years without seeing webs anywhere.
It’s a joke in our house that I need a cleaning lady, well, actuallyit’s me whining that I wish I had a cleaning lady, but anyway, I commented that I might have to fire the cleaning lady for missing those webs.
Nolan was standing with my husband and I, and he shot me a look of pure disgust and said:
Mom, I AM the cleaning lady in this house, and I’d love it if you’d fire me.
The boy is nothing if not honest, he does clean more often (and does a better job) than I do. Oops. I won’t be firing him after all.
But maybe I should dock his pay for missing webs? Wait, that would mean I’d have to actually pay him. Never mind.
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Jul
16
With my oldest son away at band camp, I’ve been having lots of quality time with my youngest, Nolan. Nolan is a wise old soul even at the age of twelve. He’s a pretty serious kid, but I’ve manage to loosen him up this week. Which is why we were standing in line at Walmart, cracking each other up. He pointed out that at Walmart, “Speedy Checkout” is any oxymoron, and I could not stop laughing at him. He’s right, there is no such thing as a Speedy Checkout.
Nolan is also very quick witted and decisive, unlike his mama. A friend of mine called me to tell me about a job opening in the local school district. I want a school job, so that when I finish grad school I’ll have my foot in the door, at least halfway. But I’m so afraid of making such a commitment, I worry about going to school and working set hours, being away from the kids after school, all kinds of things. I have not worked out of my house for over four years, so it’s a bit scary for me.
Nolan asked about the phone call so I told him. He asked if I was going to apply. My response was something like this:
Me: I don’t know, I’m not sure, I don’t know, maybe, I don’t know. (Basically jibberish, because I DONT KNOW.)
Nolan: (shooting me a disgusted look) That was a few I don’t knows too many, mom. You want a job in the school, so apply.
Ahhh, words of wisdom from the twelve year old. He’s available for career advice and life coaching, just NEVER question his wisdom.
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Jul
16
A few weeks ago I did something I said I’d never do. I got texting on my cell phone. That’s right, I never texted until a few weeks ago. Call me crazy! I don’t like using my cell phone anyway and just never felt the need for texting.
So why did I get it, you might ask. Because there’s this 14 year old kid that I want to communicate with while he’s at band camp, and I figured the best way to do that was through his favorite means of communication. The kid very rarely actually talks on his cell phone, but he will text me, and I even get the occasionally “Luv ya” which makes my day:)
I texted him on Sunday several hours after he would have gotten to camp and asked how his concert auditions went. The audition went great and he was very happy with his performance. At the end of that text, he wrote “talk to you on Friday”, which is when we go pick him up. Um, does that mean he thinks I won’t be calling or texting him all week? Ha.
Well. I have texted him a couple times, his dad has texted him a couple times, and we haven’t gotten a response. Now I understand that he’s in band lessons six hours out of the day, plus private lessons, eating, sleeping, all that. So he’s busy. But come on! Today I missed a phone call and it was from the University of Arkansas, where he’s at camp. Of course I panicked, but it turned out that one of the campers came down with the flu, they sent him home and were running tests to determind what kind of flu, and they are required to call all the other parents just to let us know. Which is still serious, but at least my kid wasn’t sick or in trouble.
At that point I texted him and said please respond so I know you’re ok. I got nothing back. So I called him and it went to voicemail, so I knew it was off. Finally he texted me back about thirty minutes later. This is what I got:
Son: I just got out of class.
Me: Are you ok, everything fine?
Son: Yup.
Me: We miss you and can’t wait to see you tomorrow.
Son: Me too.
I write full sentences proclaiming how much I miss him, and I get “Yup”! I got texting on my phone so we could “communicate” and I get “Me too”!
I’m going to take this to mean that he is having a great time, is very busy and learning a lot, and of course misses his mom so much he can’t even mention it. Surely that’s the case, right? Let’s just go with that.
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Jul
14
You would think that at forty years old and with two kids, I would at least be able to pretend that I have all the answers. Ha! Not even close. There are situations that come up from time to time and I have no clue how to handle them. I know what I want to do, but I don’t know what is the best way to go about it. So, I’m asking you for advice.
I’ll call this dilemma, The Uninvited Guest. Do you ever invite one of your child’s friends over and the friend shows up with their little brother or sister? Or it’s just taken for granted that the little sibling is welcome at birthday parties or any other activity? This happens all the time, and I’d love to know how you all handle this.
I’m pretty easy going, so my tendency is to just let the younger sibling stay and play. Most of the time, this works out okay. But when the younger one is several years younger than either of my kids, it gets awkward, because then it’s more like babysitting. I don’t want to plan a fun get together for my kid and his friend only to insist that they include a much younger brother in their fun. But it has happened that way, and it’s no fun for any of us. On the flip side, I would never send either of my kids to tag along with their brother to a friends house or party when they weren’t invited.
I have tried using my child as an excuse, saying “Nolan wants to know if Mark can come over”. I specifically do not mention the younger brother. Sometimes that works, sometimes they still show up together and sometimes I get asked, can little brother come too. Which puts me in an awkward position, because all of my reasons for saying No don’t sound too nice when I say them out loud.
So tell me, am I wrong to not want younger siblings to come over without being invited? Maybe I am the stick in the mud and need to get over that. If I’m not wrong, and it’s perfectly okay to expect the invited guest to show up by himself, then how do you handle this situation?
Because I’m a worrier by nature, you know this kind of thing has kept me up at night and caused me severe stress. I never want to hurt any feelings. Advice, please! And thanks!
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Jul
10
My 14 year old son is getting ready to go to week long band camp. He leaves on Sunday for the University of Arkansas. Luckily, this is not our first band camp experience, or I would be having an anxiety attack right now. As it is, I’m just getting ready to miss him terribly.
You know what will keep your mind off your kid leaving for a week? Taking that kid shopping, because he’s outgrown all his decent clothes and apparently decent clothes are a requirement for camp. Shopping is not my thing anyway, and shopping with a teenage boy, um, NO.
Tanner is very excited for band camp, and he was very excited to go shopping today too. Of course, you know the day couldn’t go off without a hitch. We were in the car, getting on the highway to go to the closest mall, when he shows me his hand. His hand that is covered in poison ivy. Then he shows me where it is spreading to his arm. Are you kidding! I can’t send my kid to camp like that. We’ve been down the poison ivy road before too, so I know it will cover his entire body within 24 hours. I had to take a detour to the doctors office to get him a shot and some other medication. The poor kid was not happy to delay his shopping, and he was even less happy about getting a shot. He hates shots with a passion, and he swore that he would take the pills the doctor offered. Right. At camp, with no parents to remind him, I’m pretty sure he would not remember to take medicine. I just hope he remembers to sleep a little.
So it was a long day, and tomorrow will be spend doing his laundry and packing. I guess it’s a good thing that it takes so much work to get him out the door, because I’ll be so tired by Sunday I might not remember how much I’m going to miss that kid. Or not.
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Jul
9
I have been mind numbingly tired (is that even a word) for most of June, trying to get my school work done, work and squeeze in time with my family. Not much time left for sleeping, and the last week of school I had at least two nights where I got maybe three hours of sleep. No, I wasn’t partying like a college student, I was scrambling to get my assignments done to my obsessive/compulsive satisfaction. So now I’m done with school, but it’s going to take awhile for me to feel rested again.
I’ve been seriously sleep deprived before, and it never fails, very strange things start happening when I get exhausted. Mainly, my mind enters some kind of different dimension.
It starts out with dreams, but the dreams seem so real. I usually dream about whatever it is that is keeping me from sleeping. A couple years ago I started a new job and it was so busy at first, I wasn’t getting much sleep. When I did sleep, I found myself half dreaming/half awake, answering the phone in my dream. Except I was actually talking to my boss, in my half awake state. My husband was a little concerned about me. It stopped happening when I started getting some rest.
The past few days, I’ve been doing the same kind of dreaming, but I’m dreaming that I didn’t finish all my assignments. While I’m dreaming, I’ll actually get up and start writing myself a note about what I need to finish. Eventually I’ll figure out what I’m doing and get back in bed, but that’s happened several times. Because I was so worried about going back to school, I guess I’m still worrying about it.
Last night was the weirdest, so far anyway. Our dog sleeps in our room, and usually ends up in our bed. Lately he’s been a real pain and wants to go out at 2am. For some reason, he never starts whining and nudging my husband, he saves that for me. So we started leaving him outside until right before we go to bed. Last night I was in my half awake/half asleep state, and I saw it lightening outside. I figured I should let the dog in, so I opened the door and waited for him. He didn’t come, so I called for him, but quietly, because everyone was sleeping. He still didn’t come so I stepped outside, getting worried. Finally I gave up and went back inside. Guess what I saw? Right there, in my room, lying sprawled out on my bed, was the dog. He had been there the whole night! And I knew we had brought him inside before bedtime, because I said goodnight to him (don’t ask, he’s a very well loved dog). But because I was in that weird dreaming state, I could not remember that he was in bed with me. Weird!
I guess it’s kind of like sleep walking except I’m walking, talking and doing all kinds of strange things, and I remember it. It’s an adventure every night, I have no idea what I’ll do next.
I really need to get some sleep though, stepping outside is getting a little risky for me. I don’t want to take a chance that I might decide to drive somewhere. Although it would be great if I felt like cleaning the house or doing the laundry while I’m asleep.
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My boys
Where did those little guys go?Cuteness overload
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