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Jul
2
So it’s July already. Clearly nobody asked me if I was ready for that. In the past few weeks I’ve had occasional, fleeting thoughts of blogging. I miss this place. Believe me when I say, I could not find an extra five minutes in my day to post, or even read my favorite blogs. I am so sad about that.
But, I am very happy about the reason I have been sooo busy. I was nervous about announcing beforehand what I was going to be doing, in case I followed my instinct and chickened out before I got started. And because I had no idea how busy I was going to be.
I’ve been busy making a long time dream of mine come true. You know those dreams that you have, thoughts or plans or wishes that you just never think will happen? Those dreams that just hang out in your mind and heart, never completely going away? I’ve been making a big one come true.
I went back to graduate school. I still get a big smile on my face when I say that! I have talked about it for years, only to my husband of course. I have dreamed about it for years, but never really believed I could do it. Actually, I was pretty sure I could not do, and that I would quit or be kicked out the first day of classes. Right up until classes started, I kept telling my husband not to tell anyone, because I wanted to leave the back door open for a quick exit. He helpfully told everyone we know and told me to slam that back door shut, cause I was not looking back. So, I didn’t.
This is not a typical education or career path. I have an undergraduate degree in business that I’ve never really used, because for the past fourteen years I’ve only taken jobs that allowed me to work from home. Any job, as long as I could be home with my babies boys. For the past year these jobs or lack thereof have really weighed on me. I want to work and need to work, but I was getting really tired of not being interested in my work. No interest in most of it at all. Some of it I do love, but most of it, no love. My dream job, if anyone ever asked, has always been to work in a bookstore. Or a library. Ask anyone who has known me for more than, oh, five minutes, and they’ll say I’d be a perfect librarian. But it’s always been one of those dreams, the ones that never come true, they just hang out in your head.
Until one day, when you decide, just for the heck of it, to call the university and find out what it takes to get in the Library Media Specialist graduate program. Fully expecting them to say that I’d have to start over with a different undergrad degree then a masters degree, but I called anyway, on a total whim.
They said it doesn’ t matter what my undergrad degree is in. They listed off a couple easy and simple hoops to jump through to get accepted into the program, one of which was filling out an application and the other was sending my transcripts. That was it, no other hoops.
On another whim, I filled out the paperwork and forwarded the transcripts and waited for my rejection letter. I expected it to say something along the lines of Do you realize you are 40 years old?? That rejection letter never showed up. I was accepted into the program and had an appointment to meet with my advisor to set up a plan of study within a short two weeks after my first whimsical phone call. It actually happened so fast that I don’t think it really registered with me that I could do this and that the university wasn’t laughing at me for wanting to do this.
This is so huge for me. I’m not a risk taker, I will stay in my comfort zone long after it has stopped being enjoyable rather than try something new. For a solid month I had panic attacks thinking about going back to school. I refused to tell anyone, refused to believe it and always kept my mind on, I can quit if I want. But I don’t want to quit and I didn’t.
I just completed my first seven hours of graduate school. They forgot to mention to me that one graduate class is basically equivalent to 2.5 undergrad classes, or that they were cramming sixteen weeks worth of work into sixteen days. I probably would not have taken two classes and a workshop if I had known. It has been very tough. Not only have I neglected this blog, I have not cooked a meal in four weeks. I haven’t cleaned my house in four weeks. I miss my family and I miss sleeping. I have not survived on this little sleep in decades, and I don’t like it.
But I made it. Today was my last class for the summer. Is it ok to say that I loved my classes, as hard as they were? I love the library media program. I love being back in school. I can’t wait for the fall semester to start. Ok, I take that back, I do need a break. But the word “quit” is not in my vocabulary now.
So there you have it, one dream coming true. I’m so excited I cannot even put it in words. I have more work to do than most of the other students in this program. I don’t have a teaching background, so I need to volunteer or substitute teach, or both. I will end up getting my teaching certificate at some point. So there’s lots of work ahead. I’m ready for it.
So please excuse my absence. I am back, and soon I will be rested and refreshed and able to keep my eyes open. Not today, but soon.
What dreams are hanging out in your heart?
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6 Responses to “June? Can you come back here, I wasn’t ready for you to go yet”
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Peggy on July 3rd, 2009 6:47 am
It’s soooo good to hear from you again!! I was wondering what happened! Congratulations on your new path in life. That is just awesome and you’ll be so glad you started classes. Live life with no regrets. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, WTG!
Sheri on July 3rd, 2009 10:45 am
Thanks Peggy! It feels good to have been missed
I’m glad to be back too.
terriavidreader on July 3rd, 2009 4:44 pm
CONGRATULATIONS! I’m so happy for you for whatever reason you were able to make that decision to make that call and continue forward! Wonderful. I hear of so many people who later on “wish” and you have continued on towards your dreams. You should be very proud of yourself! (and congrats to the family who supports you being able to do this too!)
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[...] blog. No one, not even my mom. Weird, right? No one besides my husband knows that I am rocking graduate school (omg, did I just write that obnoxious sentence, what a bragger). I knew I would, I love school [...]