http://www.adaringadventure.com/blog/wordpress/nlp/how-to-get-instant-confidence/

Somebody once told me that I should never snort cocaine, because based on how I am (constantly deprecating myself) I would love it too much. That explains why there are a lot of people out in the world who snort and do drugs. It empowers them and/or lets them escape.

I think the reason we do what we do is because we are too hard on ourselves. Our expectations were set very high and when we didn’t reach these high standards and we believed we could’ve done better, we debased ourselves. After that, we never seem to fully recover and the guilt and shame lingers. Past failures and how we felt during rough patches in our lives have a lasting effect. We’re still in this phase of low esteem, low confidence we experienced as children and we need to overcome this. We feel unworthy.

I too feel like that little short kid, and all that baggage of low confidence that I carried back then, I still shoulder now.

Another thing…seems like I’m always looking to “make things better” and that I am never truly happy. Maybe we are shattered perfectionists. I constantly believe and tell myself “One day, when I perfect my craft, I will show the world who I am” but being a perfectionist makes it hard for me to ever get out there. I find my work can always be better.

How did your parents raise you? How are your siblings like?

A lot of it stems from how we are raised, a good parent will nurture confidence in a child especially during periods when they need it most.

I think the reason we point out the negatives when we receive compliments is not only because we are trying to be humble, but we are trying to empower the person making the compliment. Its as though, we feel they need to know that we’re not perfect (again the lingering shame and guilt from childhood) Its like we want them to walk away with little or no expectations of who we are and what we can do. That way we have no pressure or don’t have to live up to anything.

But I truly believe once I am able to overcome all this, things will be incredible. Sometimes I feel like I’m just waiting to erupt? That something big is gonna happen, things will get better because in my mind they can get better. Unfortunately, this makes it hard for me to smell the flowers.

It was good finding this entry of yours as it has given me insight into how I am and why I am the way I am. Now I will make a conscious effort to accept a compliment. Because I think…accepting compliments is the first step in building our confidence and self esteem.

Anyways, nice running into your site. Take care!

I don’t know if I will ever figure it out, but I am trying to do better. That is something, though.

Enough commiserating. Let us know your tricks once you figure it out!