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Nov
25
We are packing up and heading to Kansas for some much needed family time and rest. I hope you have a peaceful week, full of thanksgiving and whatever else you need right now.
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Nov
19
Have you heard of this book? Its edited by one of the founders of kirtsy and filled with favorites from kirtsy. Imagine how excited you would be if you were a brand new blogger and found out that you were going to be included in that book.
I don’t have to imagine it. A little over a year ago, I was a brand new blogger, and I got the most exciting email from the editor of the kirtsy book, telling me that they wanted to include one of my blog posts in that book! I can’t tell you how that made me feel. At any point in my adult life, if you asked me what my dream job/career would be, I would tell you that I wish I could be a writer. So to find out that
1) people besides my mom liked my writing! and
2) they liked it so well they wanted to put it in a book! It was a dream come true.
I signed the paperwork and sent it back, and then I’m embarrassed to admit I emailed several times to make sure they got my paperwork – I didn’t want to screw this up! But they did get it and said everything was good. I knew the book wasn’t coming out for over a year, but I was still excited. I heard from them one more time, asking me to send in an image for the book, which I did.
I read kirtsy. I read the personal blogs of the lovely ladies that created kirtsy. And I do think they are all lovely, even though I don’t know them. Those ladies are social media goddesses and bloggers extraordinaire! Of course I was thrilled that they chose my work for their book! But more than that, more than being chosen by women I admire to be included in a book with other people that I admire, I was just so excited that something I wrote was going to be published. Dreams do come true.
I kept checking kirtsy for updates and the publication date kept getting pushed back. Finally this summer I read that it would be coming out in the fall. I kept checking my email, but nothing. By accident, I read a blurb about the book at one of the blogs I read regularly, with the book cover and publication date. I thought maybe I should put that on here, but then I thought, wait, surely the book editors will contact the contributors with all that info. (thank God for that little hesitation) So I waited a little longer, then started emailing the same women who I had corresponded with last year.
I never got a response to my emails. Even though I knew better, I was still holding out hope that maybe the emails got lost, but that I was still going to be in the book. But no. My post is not in the book.
The adult in me knows that these things happen, its business, nothing personal. But my inner child feels a little bit like the junior high girl who got invited to the cool kids’ party, only to have them say “just joking” on the day of the party.
Please understand – I’m not saying thats what happened. I’m saying that as someone who experienced that type of thing before, I recognize that feeling, I know that feeling well, and to the part of me that still suffers from that acute insecurity, this feels similar.
I was thisclose to being in the kirtsy book! OMG! I told my family, friends, coworkers and a few bloggers I know. This was a huge deal for me. For everyone on the other side – the publisher, the editor – it is just business and of course it’s not personal. I know that, and I don’t want to even hint that I think there was anything mean about this. But its still very personal for me. No matter what happened, it is legitimate for me to feel disappointed. And hurt. And embarrassed – because who was I kidding thinking I could be in that book.
Whatever the reason, whatever happened, what I really wish is that instead of telling me “You have been selected to be published”, they had said you might be published, but you might not be. If that little word might had been there, I wouldn’t have gotten as excited. I wouldn’t have told anyone that I was going to be in such an awesome book. I wouldn’t have done anything but cross my fingers and hope that I was picked. And that would have been better than the slow sinking realization that this particular dream wasn’t going to come true.
Thisclose is almost worse than not anywhere close at all.
I was considering not buying the book, not rubbing salt in the wound, but ARE YOU CRAZY? Have you seen the list of people who did contribute to the book? That is the most awesome list of writers that I have seen in a long time. So far I haven’t been able to find it locally, but I am going to get it. I am absolutely awed by that contributor list. Some of them I have been reading for a long time, some I have never heard of. They deserve this, and they deserve to be congratulated. Especially those on the list who are being published for the first time – what an incredible achievement. Congratulations, great job, and enjoy it.
I’m sure I’ll love the book, and the sting will only last a little while.
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Nov
18
I was trying to sneak in a bit of blog reading before I collapse from exhaustion when I read on Twitter that Anissa Mayhew has been hospitalized after having a stroke. I don’t know her personally; I won a blog giveaway prize from her last year and we exchanged an email or two, and I have read her blog. Even without knowing her or her family, this makes my heart ache.
Stop for a minute. Look around you, give thanks for all that you have, and say a prayer for Anissa.
You can check this CaringBridge site for updates on her condition. With all my heart, I hope that she will be tweeting her own updates very soon.
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Nov
18
Last weekend one of my youngest sons friends spent the weekend with us. The boys had a LEGO Robotics competition and his parents had to be out of town, so we had a guest.
I was worried that they boys would be bored spending almost 2 1/2 days together, so I was trying to think of something to do Saturday night. It was finally starting to feel like November, so my first thought was to rent a movie. Ok, thats always my first thought, I love movies. The only other thing I came up with was to go to a movie….which sounds pretty much the same, but its not. Really.
Anyway, no one was real excited about my suggestions. I don’t know about you, but I always wonder if every other family does all kinds of fascinating things on the weekends. So I was worried that my sons friend would be bored to tears by our couch potato-y weekend.
My husband does not worry about anything, and certainly not about entertaining our children, but he is really good at coming up with fun things to do that don’t involve electronics. Out of nowhere he suggested making a fire in the fire pit and cooking dinner over it. Finally, something better than a movie! I was pretty impressed, and the boys perked right up and got everything ready themselves.
They made grilled cheese sandwiches and roasted marshmallows. I noticed that our guest wasn’t eating the marshmallows, so I asked if he liked them. He solemnly explained that he only liked them in smores. Well! As the hostess, what choice did I have but to run right to the store to get chocolate and graham crackers! Anything for a guest 
When I got back and we commenced with the smores making and smores eating, my son was telling his friend about how when Halloween was over, my husband had the grand idea to blow up a pumpkin with some old firecrackers. (He swears it was the boys’ idea… right). Kyle listened intently, sighed, and said that his family never does anything fun like blowing things up or starting fires in the backyard.
Awww, can you think of a better compliment than that? We are fun! We do exciting weekend activities! (Never mind that some parents might not approve of the blowing up stuff type activities. It was all done in the name of scientific research, really)
The sleepover weekend was a huge success. I felt like Martha Stewart, only with gooey marshmallows and chocolate dripping down my chin. Yum.
I really wanted to take a picture of us in all our fiery, chocolatey glory, but eating smores takes two hands. A girl has to prioritize.
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Nov
15
Insurance. No small gift. As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been hanging out in hospitals and doctor offices quite a bit recently. I have been shocked at the cost of the tests I have had done, and grateful beyond measure that my husband has good insurance. I know it happens to many, many, many people, but for the first time, I realized that without our insurance, this little health glitch I am experiencing could have financially devastated us. No, I take that back. My health care bills would never financially devastate us, because I would choose to not see a doctor or have tests done. Not for myself. Thankfully, I don’t have to make that decision, but I feel for everyone that does.
I am one of those people who kind of skips along, assuming that most people are honest and doing what is right. I am occasionally wrong. We have Blue Cross insurance and a supplemental dental insurance to help with the orthodontist bills. Most of the providers we see are very familiar with both our primary and secondary insurance, so I never give it a second thought. My sons’ dentist office took a couple of times to actually submit the claims to the primary first, but they got it figured out, so I assumed all was fine.
I got a bill from my kids’ dentist earlier this fall, and for some reason I just thought how can we owe almost $160 for just part of the year, when we have two insurance policies paying on these claims? My first thought was that they submitted the claims incorrectly again, so I made a phone call to the dentists office. First, I do like the dentist my kids see. Second, there is no other pediatric dentist on both of our insurance provider lists, so its a good thing I like her. Anyway, I called her office, spoke with the staff member that answered the phone and questioned the bill I had received. She quickly told me that they did file the claims correctly and the bill was correct. Sigh. So I called each insurance company to try to figure out why I was being charged so much for simple cleanings.
I spent 3 hours on the phone that morning, back and forth with the insurance companies. To their credit, they were all very helpful and tried to find an explanation for the bill. Finally, someone walked through the bills with me line by line, date by date, for the past year. I learned that as a preferred provider, my dentist can charge whatever she wants, but the insurance company has set a cap for how much she will actually get paid for each service – and I am not responsible for the difference. We discovered that the dentist office had been billing me for that difference for at least the past year, probably longer.
After three hours on the phone, I was slightly irritated. The insurance representative told me exactly what to say to the dentists office, and to let them know that if we could not resolve this, then Blue Cross would send a patient rep out to visit with the dentist. I was happy to pass that along. This time when I called, I specifically asked to speak with the person responsible for filing the insurance. The person that answered the phone said that she did it, which I’m pretty sure is not true. But I explained my 3 hours on the phone, what I learned, and what the Blue Cross rep said. Instead of any apology or even acknowledgment that something might be wrong, I was told that she would pass the message along (to who, isn’t she the responsible one?) and someone would get back to me. Very anticlimactic. And more than a little rude.
I waited a week for a return call from the dentist but finally called them back. After I repeated most of the previous conversation that I had with them, I was then told that amazingly enough, the bill in question had been adjusted! Instead of me owing almost $160, I actually had a credit of about $50 on our account. Again, no mention of why the amount was adjusted, no apology, nothing. Which is fine, because being billed correctly was the goal, but you’d think if they want to keep long time patients, they might show some common courtesy when they screw up.
No, I don’t really think it was a screw up on their part. They’ve been in business too long not to know about the cap on charges. I screwed up, by not examining the Explanation of Benefits statements closer and questioning amounts that didn’t make sense. I screwed up by trusting that it would all be handled correctly and honestly. It was a necessary lesson, because now, no EOB goes unexamined.
Because of that incident with the dentist office, when I got a bill for one of my recent tests that said I owed over $600, I immediately called Blue Cross. That time it was a simple coding error. The rep fixed it right when I called and my balance dropped to zero.
I’m sure everyone else is diligent about combing over EOBs, checking and double checking. I’m new to this world of medical expenses. Routine doctor visit co-pays have been the extent of my experience up until recently, so I haven’t had to worry about it. I can tell you though, since I started spending so much time as a patient, I will never take insurance for granted again.
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Nov
11
I have been at my local hospital three times in the past 4 weeks for tests, and I have learned quite a bit. I hope this information is helpful.
- The nurses and technicians will be some of the nicest, kindest people you will ever meet. At least, that has been my experience, and I am eternally grateful for that.
- No matter how bad you think you feel, you will see someone that clearly feels much worse than you do. While this won’t make you feel better, it definitely helps put things in perspective.
- If your doctor says the test will take about 20-30 minutes, plan on actually being at the hospital for about 3.5 hours. Or a bit longer. Nothing at the hospital takes 20-30 minutes, not even getting checked in.
- Bring a book. If you don’t bring anything to do, you might end up watching a fascinating television show on current news events, such as the Laci Peterson murder – or whatever else the nice but sleepy elderly lady put the channel on before she fell asleep holding the remote.
- When the nurse is getting ready to draw blood or start an IV, and she says “Now you’ll feel a little bee sting”, don’t believe her. More than likely, you will feel about 4 not so little bee stings as she hunts for a vein in your apparently vein-less arms.
- The little top they give you to put on has snaps, not just the little ties, which don’t actually help cover anything. Look for the snaps, and use them! Or be very embarrassed, like I was. Live and learn I guess
I think I am finally done with tests, woohoo! Now I wait for results and see what happens from here. No matter what, I will never forget those little snaps again.
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Nov
9
Tonight my youngest son, husband and I were hanging out in the living room. I don’t watch much TV, but I was taking a break from my homework. My husband was watching football and flipping the channel back and forth to whatever my son wanted to watch. Finally my son sighed, got up, walked over to me and asked:
Can I just go read my book?
Sweeter words were never spoken That boy takes after his mother!
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Nov
7
Since my husband and youngest son are gone, it was just me and the teenager here. We made a fast trip to the mall, fast because I don’t enjoy shopping or the mall. Even though I avoid shopping, I wasn’t too surprised to hear sales clerks telling customers to “Have a Merry Christmas”. All that starts way too early for me, but every store seems to do it. But I was shocked to see Santa at the mall, with children lined up to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for a holiday that is about seven weeks away! Does that seem a bit early for anyone else? Christmas is my favorite holiday, so I’m not being all bah humbug, but come on.
At this rate, Santa will have to make room for the Easter Bunny before Christmas even gets here. Or one on each end of the mall maybe. Ridiculous.
Am I the only one that feels this way?
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Nov
6
My husband and youngest son are going on a Boy Scout camp out this weekend. My older son has all region band tryouts tomorrow and a football game to go to tonight, so it looks like I’m going to have some quality alone time. Can’t complain about that
When my husband and sons go camping, I rent a chick flick to watch by myself. It has become a tradition that on Friday or Saturday night, when I settle down to watch my movie, I have to call my husband – usually in the middle of a very fun campfire activity – and ask him to tell me, AGAIN, how do you work the dvd player. Yes, I am my mother when it comes to technology. I just very rarely watch TV, never TIVO anything, and the only time I control the remote is when I am home alone. How can I be expected to remember what to do when I only do it a couple times a year??
It’s quite the joke in my family, my kids think its a combination of hysterical and embarrassing. Today my husband decided to break tradition, and he showed me how to do it before he left. He not only showed me, he had me do it.
So much for tradition. I guess he really doesn’t want me to interrupt the smores again.
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Nov
5
How did that happen? Wasn’t it just July a few days ago!? I love this time of year, leaves falling and crisp weather. I didn’t mean to be MIA for over a week though.
We had company last week, my sister-in-law and niece came for the Halloween weekend. I love it when they visit, my niece adores my sons and they adore her and their aunt. Its nice to have more girls in the house!
This is the first year that my boys have not been too interested in trick or treating. My oldest didn’t want to go at all, unless it was with his friends. My youngest wanted to go, I could tell, but kind of felt like he is too old. That problem was solved when my niece came, because she is younger and she wanted him to go with her.
My oldest son decided to have a friend over on Halloween. The only thing that makes this different than the millions of other friends that come over is that this friend was a girl. I don’t want to give details or tell stories that are not mine to tell, but I will say that as much as I firmly believe 14 is too young to date, and my 14 year old will not be going on actual dates, I really liked her dad bringing her over, coming in to meet my husband and I, and having her here at the house hanging out with all of us. That is how it should be. It was so cute because my niece didn’t know what to think about it, she was just happy to have another girl here and she kept finding reasons to “check on them”. It was also extremely adorable to see how nervous my boy was when he met his friends father – as he should be. Of course, the dad was just as nervous, since it is his only daughter. This is new territory for all of us.
The only thing that surprised me was how I morphed into my lovely mother in law when his friend came over. I asked that child probably twenty times if she wanted anything to eat, drink, candy, cupcakes, what would you like dear? That is how my mother in law was when she first met me, and I could not make myself stop asking my son and his friend if they wanted food!
I realize its already November 5, but even though I’m getting a late start, I am going to try to post every day for the rest of November for National Blog Posting Month. I need to get back in the habit of posting regularly. We’ll ignore that I’m starting late
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