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Nov
19
Have you heard of this book? Its edited by one of the founders of kirtsy and filled with favorites from kirtsy. Imagine how excited you would be if you were a brand new blogger and found out that you were going to be included in that book.
I don’t have to imagine it. A little over a year ago, I was a brand new blogger, and I got the most exciting email from the editor of the kirtsy book, telling me that they wanted to include one of my blog posts in that book! I can’t tell you how that made me feel. At any point in my adult life, if you asked me what my dream job/career would be, I would tell you that I wish I could be a writer. So to find out that
1) people besides my mom liked my writing! and
2) they liked it so well they wanted to put it in a book! It was a dream come true.
I signed the paperwork and sent it back, and then I’m embarrassed to admit I emailed several times to make sure they got my paperwork – I didn’t want to screw this up! But they did get it and said everything was good. I knew the book wasn’t coming out for over a year, but I was still excited. I heard from them one more time, asking me to send in an image for the book, which I did.
I read kirtsy. I read the personal blogs of the lovely ladies that created kirtsy. And I do think they are all lovely, even though I don’t know them. Those ladies are social media goddesses and bloggers extraordinaire! Of course I was thrilled that they chose my work for their book! But more than that, more than being chosen by women I admire to be included in a book with other people that I admire, I was just so excited that something I wrote was going to be published. Dreams do come true.
I kept checking kirtsy for updates and the publication date kept getting pushed back. Finally this summer I read that it would be coming out in the fall. I kept checking my email, but nothing. By accident, I read a blurb about the book at one of the blogs I read regularly, with the book cover and publication date. I thought maybe I should put that on here, but then I thought, wait, surely the book editors will contact the contributors with all that info. (thank God for that little hesitation) So I waited a little longer, then started emailing the same women who I had corresponded with last year.
I never got a response to my emails. Even though I knew better, I was still holding out hope that maybe the emails got lost, but that I was still going to be in the book. But no. My post is not in the book.
The adult in me knows that these things happen, its business, nothing personal. But my inner child feels a little bit like the junior high girl who got invited to the cool kids’ party, only to have them say “just joking” on the day of the party.
Please understand – I’m not saying thats what happened. I’m saying that as someone who experienced that type of thing before, I recognize that feeling, I know that feeling well, and to the part of me that still suffers from that acute insecurity, this feels similar.
I was thisclose to being in the kirtsy book! OMG! I told my family, friends, coworkers and a few bloggers I know. This was a huge deal for me. For everyone on the other side – the publisher, the editor – it is just business and of course it’s not personal. I know that, and I don’t want to even hint that I think there was anything mean about this. But its still very personal for me. No matter what happened, it is legitimate for me to feel disappointed. And hurt. And embarrassed – because who was I kidding thinking I could be in that book.
Whatever the reason, whatever happened, what I really wish is that instead of telling me “You have been selected to be published”, they had said you might be published, but you might not be. If that little word might had been there, I wouldn’t have gotten as excited. I wouldn’t have told anyone that I was going to be in such an awesome book. I wouldn’t have done anything but cross my fingers and hope that I was picked. And that would have been better than the slow sinking realization that this particular dream wasn’t going to come true.
Thisclose is almost worse than not anywhere close at all.
I was considering not buying the book, not rubbing salt in the wound, but ARE YOU CRAZY? Have you seen the list of people who did contribute to the book? That is the most awesome list of writers that I have seen in a long time. So far I haven’t been able to find it locally, but I am going to get it. I am absolutely awed by that contributor list. Some of them I have been reading for a long time, some I have never heard of. They deserve this, and they deserve to be congratulated. Especially those on the list who are being published for the first time – what an incredible achievement. Congratulations, great job, and enjoy it.
I’m sure I’ll love the book, and the sting will only last a little while.
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10 Responses to “This is gonna sting just a bit”
Leave a Reply
Lori Z. on November 20th, 2009 11:28 am
You’re still fantastic, no matter what!
Sheri on November 20th, 2009 2:16 pm
Aww Lori, what a sweet thing to say. I’m going to use this as motivation – to blog more often and to write more often. Maybe its the kick in the pants I need
Thanks!
Jolene on November 20th, 2009 2:21 pm
You are one of my favorite bloggers by far!!! Keep it up!
Karen R on November 20th, 2009 9:53 pm
Sorry you weren’t in the book. That doesn’t mean you aren’t a good writer.
Sheri on November 21st, 2009 9:09 am
You guys are being so nice, thank you for such kind words!
becky on November 23rd, 2009 11:05 am
I think I know how you feel, although mine is more of a longing to be included in something like that, rather than the disappointment of being included, & then suddenly not. What I don’t understand is why they didn’t let you know? You could have moved on a while ago had you known that. I’m sorry.
mary on November 23rd, 2009 11:13 am
Oh, no. I am really bummed to hear this!!
Amie aka MammaLoves on November 23rd, 2009 11:52 am
That did have to sting. You are being far more mature than I might have been. I’m sorry this happened. Please remember that your words are appreciated by many more people than your mother–wherever we might find them.
karey m. on November 23rd, 2009 12:11 pm
i’m sorry…as a kirtsy editor, i want to repeat your words about the kirtsy chicks. i’ve met them and worked with them for a few years. they are lovely.
as someone who used to run a small publishing company, i want to tell you how hard these compilations are. everything and everyone starts swimming together in a blur. they’re a nightmare to manage.
and as someone whose words were also not included in that book, i want to tell you i completely understand your feelings. and i feel for you. and if i were a better writer, i’d say something like “you’re in good company.”
but that might be an insult to you. i notice you’re very good with punctuation and capital letters. jealous.
sorry again. but your words will find a book. i know that. xoxo.
Sheri on November 25th, 2009 3:39 am
I should have said that all the kirtsy chicks – including the editors – are incredibly nice people. Thank you, Karey and Mary.
I know that things get lost in the shuffle, but it hurts when you’re the one who got lost
. I did not want to be mature about it at first, that inner child still gets pretty pouty! But I do want to use this to help me stay motivated to write, write and write even more.
Becky, don’t give hope. It is so hard to read about books and bloggers and not be included, I am right there with you on that. We will get there one day, just keep writing.
Thanks again for all the kind comments.