Mar

2

Okay, who brought the limo???




My baby eighth grader went to his first semi-formal dance recently. I wasn’t thrilled with the whole “semi-formal” thing at first, because it meant we had to buy some dress up clothes for him.  The school counselor made it clear that semi-formal just meant no jeans/t-shirts/tennis shoes, not a tuxedo. Whew!

My son did not have a date for this dance, much to my relief. I really have nothing against dances or dates, but some of my best memories from high school are going to dances with a group of friends. We had a blast, and there were none of the expectations that might be there with a date. I want him to have fun, not drama. So he met several friends there, and afterwards spent the night with his buddies.

I worry about my boy, because like me, he can have unreasonable expectations of things. A dance could be the the “best night of his life”, if he only had a date. So for him, no date means he can relax and be himself, without aiming for that unattainable “perfect night”. We did have to have a discussion about the clothes though. He actually asked for a suit. I would love nothing more than to see my boy decked out in a suit, but that is a more money than I can spend on something he won’t wear again. We finally agreed on black dress pants, red shirt, tie and shoes. He looked great!

It was so cute to see him getting ready that night, with his dad helping him with his tie. He was excited and nervous, calling his friends constantly to make sure that no one arrived at the dance before the others. They all came back to our house after the dance, just long enough for Tanner to change clothes and grab some overnight stuff. One of the guys did have a date, and they were giving her a ride home so she came over too. The girls apparently took the semi-formal part very seriously! She looked lovely, but my first dress like that was for prom my junior year. I saw many pictures from that night and all the girls were wearing formals. Even though I wasn’t excited about the semi-formal part at first, I do think it changed the whole atmostphere of the dance for these kids. I’ve never seen my son or the other kids so excited about a school dance, and the only difference was that they were dressed up. They loved dressing up and loved seeing each other dress up, and I’m sure it made a difference in how they behaved at the dance.

Now here’s my rant – you knew it was coming, right? My husband dropped him off at the dance, and when he came home he told me there were two limos dropping off groups of kids, one a Hummer limo. Remember, this is an EIGHTH GRADE dance. Not senior prom. What do these kids have to look forward to for prom, or any other dance, if we are bringing out the big guns for EIGHTH GRADE?

I get that parents want to make these things perfect for their kids. I want my son to have a good time, I don’t care so much about perfection.  I also get that if you can afford to do things like that, go right ahead.  But next year, how do you top the fancy dress, corsage, dinner before the dance, bowling afterwards, and the limo?  What is left to make the next four years worth of dances great and wonderful and perfect?

I grew up in a small town, so there were no limos, no restaurants, no hotels. There was only so much we could do for prom, and it was still absolutely perfect.  So I don’t know what I’m getting into here. If this is what its like in eighth grade, are we talking five star restaurants, private parties and (gasp) hotels for prom? Really, I have no idea, but I’m not looking forward to the conversation where we tell our son No to the hotel idea.

Anyone have a teenager and been through the whole dance/prom thing and can tell me what I’m in for? Are limos at eighth grade dances typical? What happens in high school then, do we fly the kids in (sarcasm)?  But really, what are your thoughts on this? Feel free to call me old fashioned, the label fits.

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    Filed Under Family, Fun, Me, My boys, parenting, parenting dilemma | 4 Comments 

    4 Responses to “Okay, who brought the limo???”

      1
        Katherine owlfan on March 2nd, 2010 6:52 pm

        We haven’t had the 8th grade dance yet, but I know from previous years that the school specifically requests NO LIMOS. The kids also have to follow school dress code (if the shoulders are bare, there must be a collar). I haven’t seen how they dress, but I was figuring on my son dressing a lot like yours did. Maybe a blazer too, but we already have one for him.

      2
        Michelle on March 3rd, 2010 3:19 pm

        Why not ease these kids into the dances slower? I think a limo is silly too.

      3
        Kk. on March 4th, 2010 5:49 pm

        I’m a college student, so I did the whole prom thing just a few years ago. It amazes me how different it is depending on where you live though.

        I grew up in the suburban area of Central New Jersey. Before senior prom, big groups of friends all gather at someone’s house for a pre-party/photo ops. All of the parents are invited with their cameras and it’s usually catered. There’s always a hummer limo or a ‘party bus’ used to get everyone to the actual dance. The prom is always held at a fancy hotel, where dinner is also served. It goes from about 7-12. It’s customary for everyone to then go to Wildwood, NJ for the weekend. They stay in crappy hotels on the beach, that their parents rented for them, with loads of alcohol provided by who-knows-who.

        I moved to east Tennessee when I was a sophomore in high school. My high school in TN was significantly smaller and in a lower income area. The seniors and juniors have a combined prom each year, rather than holding separate ones like my prior school, since the class sizes are smaller. The juniors are responsible for making a committee, raising money, and decorating the auditorium for the prom. They always do a good job, considering what they have to work with. My date and I met up with a handful of friends beforehand to take pictures and arrive together. We drove their in our own cars; although a few classmates did arrive in limos or a parent’s old classic car. I want to guess that it lasted from about 7:30-11, although most people leave much earlier to drive about an hour to Knoxville for dinner. Afterwards, our crew of about eight couples went bowling. The boys insisted on wearing their tuxes “to get full use of them”, while all of the girls brought jeans and t-shirts to change into. My favorite pictures of the night are those of my friends and I, bowling in normal clothes but with fancy hairdos and make-up.

      4
        FSK on March 12th, 2010 3:22 pm

        I went to prom a mere four years ago and I think you should expect much more than limos and hotels. Prom weekend is big where I live: the night of prom through the next Tues, all the seniors go to the shore….unsupervised.

        Of course you have the option of telling your son “no” but if I were you I would prepare for the works.