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Nov
14
My husband and sons just drove off for a weekend Scout camp out. I’d be doing a happy dance, but just getting them out the door is hard work. In case you haven’t met my son, let me tell you something about him. He never does anything willingly. He mopes and groans and gripes about everything, like this camp out. But he’ll come home Sunday all smiles, telling me what a great time he had. He does this all the time, for pretty much every activity. We’re used to him, but we also get annoyed with the requisite moping. So we ignore him. And I told my husband to try to have the patience of a saint on the drive to the campsite.
So I have 2 days to myself. Just me and the dog, and all he wants to do is sleep. I have to work, but I don’t mind working when I’m home alone. No distractions, no feeling guilty for working while the kids are home.
But, if I didn’t have to work, what would I do? Hmm, that’s like asking yourself, what would you do if you won the lottery. You know it won’t happen, but it’s so fun to dream. If my family was gone and I didn’t have to work, I would spend the first night chilling out. I’d rent a movie, get some yummy snacks and curl up with a blanket. Then I’d sleep in, til at least 9 - if you have kids you know that sleeping til 9 is a luxury that doesn’t happen too often.
For my 2nd dream day without the family, I would take some time for me. Get my hair done, read a book, nap, whatever I wanted. Then that evening I’d grab a friend or two, and get dinner or movie, or both. I don’t know about you, but for me, a weekend like that would be like winning the lottery.
Just thinking about such a nice weekend has inspired me. Leave me a comment telling me what you’d do if your family left you alone for 2 days. Dream big, and give me details, what movie would you see, what book would you read, what spa treatment would you indulge in. I want to live vicariously through you!
Now for the giveaway part. I’m giving away a $50 Visa gift card to one lucky commenter.
To enter:
Please leave a comment describing how you would spend a weekend without your family.
I will pick the winner using the random.org generator and will notify them via email. Open to US addresses only. It’s one entry per person, but you can earn extra entries.
To earn extra entries:
- Subscribe to my feed You can subscribe through a feed reader or you can also subscribe by email and have posts sent to your email address.
- Mention this giveaway on your blog with a link back here.
Please leave 1 extra comment for each additional entry, telling me which you have done (ie 1 extra comment if you subscribe, 1 extra comment if you mention this on your blog)
This giveaway will end on Monday November 17 at midnight. This giveaway has ended, look for the winner announcement once I get an email from them. Thank you everyone who entered, great ideas for a weekend without the kids!
I can’t wait to read your comments. Someday we’ll get to have that dream weekend, so it never hurts to plan ahead.
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Nov
8
It’s a lovely fall day here. We all had to get up early, my oldest had a band tryout - he got selected for All-Region Band! And my youngest had a scout activity. With such nice weather, it’s almost ok to get up early on a Saturday. Almost is the key word there.
Enjoy your weekend.
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Nov
7
My sons usually ride the bus home from school. Today my oldest son informed me that he needs to bring his bass clarinet home for the band competition tomorrow, and it’s pretty hard to haul it on the bus. So I went to pick him up.
School lets out at about 2:13pm. I was late, of course, but in the car line by 2:15. At 2:16 my phone rings, and it’s my son. He was calling to tell me that his instrument broke, so I do not need to pick him up. Remember, I am already in the car line, at the school, by then.
At what age, in which grade, do they teach common sense? He really spaced out that it was so late I’d already be at the school. Just another indication that he is his mama’s son, through and through. That kind of thing drives my meticulous, perfectionist husband absolutely crazy, but I just laugh.
Bloggy Giveaways Carnival winner!
Random Interger Generator:
Here are your random numbers:
741
Congratulations to Molly, you’re the winner of the $50 Amazon gift card. Look for an email from me.
On the subject of giveaways, I’d like to do several giveaways during November, to gear up for the holidays. I know I love getting Amazon gift cards, or any gift card, but what do you like to win? What are the favorite things to enter for? Let me know in the comments, I’ve got a few giveaways planned but I’d love to have a variety of prizes.
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Oct
28
My 13 year old went to a youth group party last Saturday. A hayride and bonfire party. My husband and I both took him, because we had some errands to run after we dropped him off. He was so nervous about all of his friends actually seeing him in the same car with his parents. Can you imagine the humiliation?
He actually asked if we could drop him off at the driveway. Normally we would, but this house had a long gravel driveway, about 1/4 of a mile! So no, we insisted on driving him all the way up to the house. I could tell he was ready to jump out of the moving car, anything to avoid being seen with us.
There were quite a few kids already there, and they were in groups, girls with girls and boys with boys. A group of girls was standing close to where we dropped him off, talking and laughing. Tanner got out and started walking up towards his friends, and I heard something that made my heart stop.
One of the girls said, “Oh here comes Tanner”. Now, that might not sound bad, but she said it and giggled. In a very giggly, girly way. The way you do when you like a boy, or think he’s cute (I know cute is probably not a word they use these days, but I’m out of touch with the correct terminology). Many, many years ago, I was a teenage girl, and I remember what the giggle means.
What happened to girls thinking boys were gross, and boys thinking girls had cooties? When did we go from that to giggles? Oh help me, I am so not ready for this new frontier. Not at all.
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Oct
20
My kids are on fall break. For some reason, this is the signal for my body to break down and get sick. I have so many fond memories of lying on the couch, miserable, while my kids were on fall break. Seasonal allergies wait all year, then bombard me right about now.
As soon as fall break is over, and they’re back in school and I’m back to work, I’ll be well. I guess I’m allergic to having my kids on an extended break from school.
My oldest spent the night with a friend, so Nolan and I were on our own. I prefer to lie on the couch and moan when I feel like this, but Nolan didn’t approve of that plan. So, we did a little pumpkin carving.
I know it’s hard to tell in the bright sun, but that’s a pretty fine looking skull and crossbones. We’ve been carving pumpkins using those store bought kits for years. This time Nolan did it all himself. I sat and moaned supervised, but he is the pumpkin carving master.
After the pumpkin carving, I got a call that Nolan had won something, and we could come and pick it up. My first thought was, woohoo a flat screen TV! But that wasn’t it. He was just as happy with what he won, though.
In case you’re thinking this is an ordinary Sugar Daddy, let me show you the real reason why my son was soooo happy with his prize.
That’s right, it was super mega size Sugar Daddy. A full pound of artery hardening, tooth decaying goodness. You would have thought he won the lottery, he was that happy. He was a little concerned that there might not be enough to share with his brother - seriously. This is one candy loving boy.
So even though I was a sick, whiny baby, we had a good day. And eventually my medication will kick in and I’ll be back to normal. Or I could just eat some of that monster size candy bar, and collapse in a sugar coma. Decisions, decisions.
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Oct
17
I’ve posted pictures of my dog on our swing set before. The sad thing about that is that he is the only one who goes up in that swing set anymore. It’s his favorite place to sleep.
My father in law gave us that when we first moved here. He picked it out and brought it here, then put it together for us. It was such a labor of love from him, and my sons absolutely loved it. They were 2 and 4 at the time. They spent hours out there playing, and when they got a little older they built elaborate forts with pillow and blankets out there. On long summer days we would climb up there and have picnics outside. They’d bring their toys and play out there all day. And then when we got our dog and he loved to get up there too, it was definitely the favorite place to play.
There was also the time when my oldest came in the house and informed us that he had strung his brother to the swing set by his feet, with a rope. We jumped up and saw Nolan hanging there, upside down, laughing, while we rushed out to untie him. Good times.
My kids haven’t played up there or used the swing set for a long time. I can’t remember the last time. My husband works with someone who has small children, they’ve asked about buying our swing set. I think we’re going to sell it, so at least someones children can enjoy it. But it’s very sad.
The swing set phase of my life is over. In fact, a huge phase of my life is over. Going to parks, the zoo, water sprinkler parks, play museums for small children, all gone. I loved those things, loved spending hours at the park or zoo. Such a sweet time.
Life is still sweet, it’s just different. And part of me will probably always miss the swing set, and the park. I’ll probably never think that the Wii is as much fun as climbing up there and having a picnic. My kids don’t agree, of course. But they will, one day, when my husband buys a swing set for our grandchildren.
Which will not be for a very, very long time. Just pointing that out.
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Oct
14
I’m always surprised by the things my kids notice and remember. I think they’re ignoring me, which they are, but they’re also watching carefully.
We know several people, friends and family, who are going through divorces. It’s sad, and it’s hard to explain to the kids. They need to know what’s going on though, so we try to explain as best as we can.
Tanner and I were talking the other day and he asked me the most surprising question. He asked why his father and I have the only successful marriage. Now he’s exaggerating, because we know many couples who are still married. What was surprising to me is that he thinks our marriage is “successful”.
My husband is a wonderful father, good husband, and all around good guy. But he and I are pretty much exact opposites. Our values are similar, the things that are important to us are very similar, but that’s where the similarities end. He is exact, meticulous, hard working, and a perfectionist. Those words do not describe me by any stretch of the imagination. I can work hard, and I do, but I’m more of a “whatever it takes to get it done” kind of person. I’m so far from a perfectionist, it’s not even funny. Tanner even asked me, a couple of months ago, why I was married to someone so unlike me.
We don’t have a perfect marriage, and our personality differences do create tension. As a naive young bride 14 1/2 years ago, I thought that the tension would eventually go away. I was wrong. I’ve worried many times that it will affect our kids, will cause them to worry, but apparently they are as used to our differences as we are. And they know, without a doubt, that we love each other and them.
We’ve gotten better at dealing with it, which usually means laughing about it. I will never be a perfectionist and he will never be a slacker. So let go of that idea right now. But we’re both committed to each other and in times when we don’t feel so happy about that, we remind ourselves that we are also committed to our family. It’s about more than just the two of us now.
I tried to explain all that to my son. He wanted to know specific reasons why the marriages of our friends and family members have ended in divorce. I don’t have an answer for that. All I can tell him is that anything worth having is worth working at, even when the work is hard and tedious. And sometimes it still doesn’t work out.
It just amazes me that he sees so much. They are watching, and taking notes. It’s always a little scary to me, that I am so responsible for these children, not just for their safety and health but more importantly for setting them on the right path to becoming good, strong men. And hopefully good husbands and good fathers.
This parenting stuff is a lot of work, I thought once we were out of diapers it would be easy. I apparently missed the chapter on the rest of it!
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Oct
13
I mentioned how excited I was to have a weekend to myself while my family was camping. I enjoyed my weekend, but I was fully aware that when those guys come home from a weekend of hiking, climbing, sleeping in tents, they are worn out. And filthy. And exhausted. Which makes for 3 very grumpy men.
I got a call from my husband on Saturday, just to tell me that they were fine and having fun. He mentioned that Nolan had lost a tooth, which Nolan thought was cool. Then he mentioned that Nolan had fallen while playing football and landed on a rock. He cut his leg, of course the scouts had a first aid kit so they got him bandaged right up and he was good as new. I talked to Nolan and he said the same thing, lost tooth, small football injury, lots of fun. All is good.
They got home yesterday and I got a chance to see this “small football injury”. I took one look at the gaping hole in his knee and told them both he needed to have it stitched. Did he ever need stitches. The only thing I can think of is that when it happened the tough boy didn’t cry or complain, and since it was bleeding they couldn’t get a good look at it before they wrapped it up. If I would’ve been there we would have left immediately. I found out later that my husband asked Nolan if he wanted to leave, if his knee was hurting that badly. Nolan insisted no, it wasn’t hurting and he wanted to stay.
So my peaceful weekend ended with a trip to the ER. He did need stitches, but the worst part was that the wound was covered with dirt and grime, so it took a good scrubbing to get it cleaned before it could be stitched. The part that hurts the worst is the shot they gave him to numb the area, or I should say shots because it took several.
Here’s the brave boy with his “small football injury”. A small injury which took 3 hours in the ER, 5 shots and 9 stitches.
I think this is probably why moms don’t go on these campouts.
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Oct
4
This is my first contribution to Straight Out of the Camera Saturday, from Slurping Life. Here’s my straight out of the camera shot from when we were in Branson last weekend. My son is sitting in some crazy contraption at Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum.
I loved the nature trails, canoeing, anything outdoors, but my kids absolutely loved this museum. Definitely worth checking out if you’re ever in Branson.
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Sep
30
I read a great post on Blogher about teaching kids financial responsibility, by Shannon from Rocks in my Dryer. I agree with everything she said, it is really hard these days to raise kids while surrounded by a constant barrage of media telling them what they have to wear, own, or be. And it all costs money.
We started teaching our boys about money when they were very young, but it wasn’t because of any great plan. It was out of necessity. We were young, I was trying to work part time and we knew we didn’t have any extra money to buy them things. So when I had to go to Walmart, we simply avoided the toy aisle. For years my kids didn’t even know there was such a thing. By avoiding the temptation, I never had to say no or deal with the inevitable meltdown.
That worked great when my kids were small, just avoid it completely. But it’s much harder now that they are older. They’ve known for awhile now that they just do not have as much stuff as other kids they know. I’ve never wanted them to have TV’s in their bedrooms, or electronic games. So we just didn’t do it. Were they happy about that? No, but I think since we started out that way, by not buying them stuff except for birthdays and Christmas, they were more accepting.
Have they thrown fits for things, of course. Have they cried that we are the meanest parents ever? Oh yes. For the most part, we haven’t budged. I really don’t believe that kids need every new gadget the second it’s in the store. Wait for it, earn it. Usually by the time they’ve earned the money for the latest new thing, they realize they don’t really want it.
Now that they are bigger, they have jobs. My husband takes them out and they mow lawns for several elderly people in our neighborhood. My husband is doing this for them, to teach them about working, about keeping your commitments even when you’d rather not, to teach them about money. They only have 3 yards, and my husband helps, but it’s still work. Work that pays well. They are required to save a portion, and the rest they can spend.
Not surprisingly, the first time they got paid they blew it all at the dollar store. They ate their candy and played with the little plastic stuff their hard earned money got them. Then I asked them, was that candy and stuff worth the 2 hours of work it took to get it? I explained that if they had saved that money, even for just one more week, they could’ve earned enough to get something really cool.
They’ve learned well. This past summer was the 2nd summer they’ve done this. The first summer, they combined their money and bought a Wii. Because, you guessed it, we wouldn’t. They not only love that Wii, but they are so proud of the fact that they worked for it. I’m proud of them too.
I’ve also used their mowing to explain some basic differences in jobs. They may not love mowing yards, but they can work 2 hours and earn more than the kid flipping burgers will earn all day. They may not always want to spend their Saturday morning working, but they are able to buy games for their Wii that we wouldn’t buy for them. This summer they used part of their earnings to buy iPods, again something we wouldn’t buy.
I won’t name any names, to protect the innocent, but one of our sons is a saver. He is saving for a car, even though it will be years before we’re talking about cars. He diligently takes his earnings to the bank. He spends very little of it, and gives each purchase much thought.
Then we have another son who is not so much a saver, but more of a spender. He would like to only mow yards when he has a specific want, something he wants to buy and needs money for. Otherwise, he’d be glad to let his brother do it all. This is where “learning to keep your commitments” comes into play. He also has much less saved than his brother. But he has now decided that he does have something in mind that he wants, something expensive, so now he wants to get busy. Now that mowing season is almost over. We explained, this is the purpose of saving, so you have it when you “need” it. Not that he needs it, but he thinks he does. He will have to wait for it.
That son often grumbles and groans about mowing, even though he’s told me that it’s not hard. But whenever either of them tells their friends about their little mowing gig, their friends are jealous. It’s time consuming, and many men don’t have the time or the desire to to do this. So I hope my sons will someday realize the gift they’ve been given. It’s just never too early to teach them to save, and to spend responsibly.
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