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Jan
11
Meet my Grandma Bonnie. Isn’t she beautiful? Yes, she is.
My grandma is 94 years old. She’s tiny, not quite 5 feet tall. But you don’t want to mess with this one. She’s a spitfire. And we love it that way.
At 94, she lives by herself in a senior apartment complex in a tiny tiny Kansas town. Everyone knows her and watches out for her, which is nice. But she does pretty good on her own. In her small town, she can walk to the post office, bank, grocery store and the lone restaurant. She drove until just recently,when the battery died in her car my uncle decided to take his time fixing it. But she doesn’t sit at home.
Her little apartment complex had a New Years Eve party in their recreation room. Guess who was in charge of unlocking the room, getting it set up for the party and staying there until the end of the party? Yep, my grandma. She welcomed 2010 at midnight, and headed off to a casino with friends the next day.
She also writes for the local newspaper. A little column called Bonnie’s Blog. When I expressed interest in reading what she wrote, she bought every back copy of the paper since she started writing her column and mailed them to me. What a treasure!
We visited her over my kids’ Christmas break, and it was a much overdo visit. I was worried about how much she would have changed since I saw her last. But the only way you can really tell that she has gotten older is that she’s quite hard of hearing now. Otherwise, she’s just as busy, active, and opinionated as ever. My kids are still laughing about her telling a story about how during hunting season,every jackass in town has a gun. She doesn’t mince her words, never has.
She has worked hard all her life, and while I like to consider myself a hard worker, I’m pretty sure the work I do can’t begin to compare to hers. In her day, work was cleaning houses, cooking meals at the cafe, and working at the local nursing home, while raising four kids. Hard, back breaking work that she did until she was 77 years old.
When I was a shy, lonely outcast of a kid in a new town, at the most awkward of ages, my grandma was my best friend. Her door was always open. I’ve always felt close to her, and while I was thrilled to see her doing so well, I do worry that our visits are numbered. One of my resolutions is to see her more often this year.
Another unspoken resolution of mine is to be more like her. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see a tired, worn out shell of the woman I should/could be. What do you see when you look at my grandma? No tired shell there. You see a beautiful, full of life, vivacious woman who has had lots of good times and plans on having many more. I want to be like her.
Who do you want to be like?
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Nov
9
These are some of my favorite posts from the past week. Enjoy.
My Favorite Ways to Save Money- Scribbit
finders and keepers – one plus two
I was wrong about the election - Sweatpants Mom
Stuffed Jumbo Pasta Shells - Robyn’s Online World
A letter to my sons - Lawyer Mama
Chicken pot pie - BeanPlate This is a new blog from Melanie at BeanPaste, which is already one of my favorites.
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Oct
15
I took a leap of faith when I registered my blog to participate in Blog Action Day. Not because I don’t want to get involved, but because I rarely feel like I can post with authority on anything. But I can participate in this discussion on poverty.
I cannot say I’ve experience extreme poverty. I’ve seen extreme poverty and I know enough to be thankful that I’ve not lived it. But after skipping through my twenties without a worry about money, suddenly I found myself with 2 small children, and a husband with a good, albeit low paying job. Things got tight very quickly when the decision was made for me to stay home with those children. I was working part time jobs, split shifts so that we wouldn’t have to pay daycare, which we couldn’t afford. Then add in an unexpected move to a better, but also low paying job for my husband and suddenly we were forced to make hard choices.
There was always food, many nights it was Ramen or tuna casserole. We were safe and healthy. But there were enough things that we had to do without, enough choices that had to be made, that it was a rough few years. I spent those years ignoring my own health care in order to make sure we could cover the co pays for our childrens healthcare. Things like eye doctors, dentists and regular checkups were luxuries, at least for my husband and I. We scraped to make sure the kids had what they needed and we did without.
I’m certainly not trying to say that I considered us to be in poverty during that time. I’m so thankful that we weren’t. My point in sharing this is to say, I’ve been in a place where I thought we had it hard, but in the big scheme of things, we did not. So I try to imagine just how much worse it could have been. That’s the place we need to go to. We have to go there, because so many people, families, children, are in that horrible place.
The amazing thing is, when we were struggling to make ends meet, angels appeared out of nowhere. Angels who offered to help, offered money, offered food, offered hand me downs for my children, offered prayers. Angels that I had never met before and haven’t met to this day helped us.
I want to be an angel, like so many were for me. I want to help, in any way I can. I can’t help in big ways, but I can and do help in many small ways. Here are some of the things I do to try to be an angel for someone in need:
- Take food to the local food pantry.
- Clean out my childrens closets and take the lightly worn clothes that they’ve grown out of to the local Catholic Charities.
- Participate in our churches Angel Tree program at Christmas. I let each of my sons pick out a child from the tree to get a gift for.
- I get emails from our area freecycle community, and when someone posts a need for something that I have, I give it to them.
- When I noticed that there was a child at my sons school who continually wore shoes with holes and pants 3 sizes too big, I spoke with the counselor and made arrangements to purchase some clothes and shoes that fit the child.
These are small things, but I know for a fact that every small thing helps. I can’t not help. Struggling for even that short time was the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me kinder, more compassionate, and it instilled in me a great desire to give. I look forward to the day when I can give more, and help in more ways.
Let’s all be angels.
This post is part of Blog Action Day 08 – Poverty
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Jul
22
I just read a very inspirational post by Kyran at Notes to Self. You have to read it, then look into your heart and see if you could find the courage and love to do what she did.
This is something I struggle with as a mom. When people ask me what I want for me kids, my answers don’t include riches or admission into the best college. What I want most for them is that they be kind. To everyone. Not just to people “like them”, whatever that means.
I used to be so much more judgmental than I am now, now that I’ve got more than a few rough years under my belt. Now when I start to judge my instinct is to consider whether or not I’ve walked even a minute in that person’s shoes. Most of the time, I haven’t. That’s enough reason for me to check my judgment, to stop making assumptions and instead just care. And be kind.
My kids have questions when they see the homeless wandering the streets. My oldest has started being judgmental, which I suppose is normal. But it’s not acceptable. I’ve explained to them that any number of things led to those people not having a place to live. Any number of things that could happen to any of us. It’s important for him to understand that bad things, things you can’t control, can happen to anyone. Life happens, and it’s not always pretty.
We’ve told our sons that they will go to college, we’ve talked about the importance of education and making the most of your education. A few weeks ago we were stuck in some highway construction and my son was noticing the construction workers. His comment was that “somebody didn’t go to college”. My response was, do you think everyone has that choice? Do you think the good things you have in your life are guaranteed for everyone?
I probably came across a little harsh with him, only because this topic is so important to me. I want him to appreciate his life, his gifts, his blessings. I also want both of them to understand that we all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, no matter what cards we’ve been dealt in life. It’s a simple, basic lesson, but it’s taken a lifetime for me to learn it, and I’m still learning it every day.
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Jun
17
I love my little corner of the world. I love it so much, I never want to venture out of it. Not because it’s just the best little corner, but because I don’t like change, and I avoid it at all costs. This trait has gotten worse the older I’ve gotten, and it’s not a good thing. I don’t want to hold myself back, but if it involves changes then I’m not sure I want to move forward, either. It’s one of my many challenges.
I’ve been following some phenomenal, brave women who are venturing far beyond their little corner of the world. In 2005, Roz Savage became the first woman to complete the Atlantic Rowing Race solo. Now she is on a mission to become the first woman to row solo across the Pacific Ocean. I’ve been following her adventure for awhile now, talk about moving outside of your comfort zone!
I’m also following Jen Lemen’s adventure to Rwanda. It all began here and now the trip is over and her stories from Rwanda are touching my heart and opening my eyes in so many ways. Not only did she step way outside her corner of the world, her experiences in Rwanda have helped me and many others to know that the life we have is so very blessed. And that my world is so very small.
I love this quote from Roz Savage :
“I believe that if you don’t keep pushing the boundaries, your comfort zone will become smaller and smaller until you’re effectively shrink-wrapped; you can’t achieve anything, you can’t grow.”
Sounds like she’s talking directly to me with that.
If you’re like me, and you’ve become way to comfortable staying in your little corner, then check out rozsavage.com and jenlemen.com. Two inspirational stories, two incredible women, and they just might inspire us to branch out a little.
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