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Mar
2
My baby eighth grader went to his first semi-formal dance recently. I wasn’t thrilled with the whole “semi-formal” thing at first, because it meant we had to buy some dress up clothes for him. The school counselor made it clear that semi-formal just meant no jeans/t-shirts/tennis shoes, not a tuxedo. Whew!
My son did not have a date for this dance, much to my relief. I really have nothing against dances or dates, but some of my best memories from high school are going to dances with a group of friends. We had a blast, and there were none of the expectations that might be there with a date. I want him to have fun, not drama. So he met several friends there, and afterwards spent the night with his buddies.
I worry about my boy, because like me, he can have unreasonable expectations of things. A dance could be the the “best night of his life”, if he only had a date. So for him, no date means he can relax and be himself, without aiming for that unattainable “perfect night”. We did have to have a discussion about the clothes though. He actually asked for a suit. I would love nothing more than to see my boy decked out in a suit, but that is a more money than I can spend on something he won’t wear again. We finally agreed on black dress pants, red shirt, tie and shoes. He looked great!
It was so cute to see him getting ready that night, with his dad helping him with his tie. He was excited and nervous, calling his friends constantly to make sure that no one arrived at the dance before the others. They all came back to our house after the dance, just long enough for Tanner to change clothes and grab some overnight stuff. One of the guys did have a date, and they were giving her a ride home so she came over too. The girls apparently took the semi-formal part very seriously! She looked lovely, but my first dress like that was for prom my junior year. I saw many pictures from that night and all the girls were wearing formals. Even though I wasn’t excited about the semi-formal part at first, I do think it changed the whole atmostphere of the dance for these kids. I’ve never seen my son or the other kids so excited about a school dance, and the only difference was that they were dressed up. They loved dressing up and loved seeing each other dress up, and I’m sure it made a difference in how they behaved at the dance.
Now here’s my rant – you knew it was coming, right? My husband dropped him off at the dance, and when he came home he told me there were two limos dropping off groups of kids, one a Hummer limo. Remember, this is an EIGHTH GRADE dance. Not senior prom. What do these kids have to look forward to for prom, or any other dance, if we are bringing out the big guns for EIGHTH GRADE?
I get that parents want to make these things perfect for their kids. I want my son to have a good time, I don’t care so much about perfection. I also get that if you can afford to do things like that, go right ahead. But next year, how do you top the fancy dress, corsage, dinner before the dance, bowling afterwards, and the limo? What is left to make the next four years worth of dances great and wonderful and perfect?
I grew up in a small town, so there were no limos, no restaurants, no hotels. There was only so much we could do for prom, and it was still absolutely perfect. So I don’t know what I’m getting into here. If this is what its like in eighth grade, are we talking five star restaurants, private parties and (gasp) hotels for prom? Really, I have no idea, but I’m not looking forward to the conversation where we tell our son No to the hotel idea.
Anyone have a teenager and been through the whole dance/prom thing and can tell me what I’m in for? Are limos at eighth grade dances typical? What happens in high school then, do we fly the kids in (sarcasm)? But really, what are your thoughts on this? Feel free to call me old fashioned, the label fits.
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Feb
18
peeking shyly into the blogosphere…
Hi. This blog is deserted! My fault. Let me give you the facts of life for Sheri right now:
- Graduate school. Or I should say GRADUATE SCHOOL! I am taking two classes this semester, and one of them has been known to cause people to drop out and never come back, its that hard. And time consuming. I dream about dropping out, but that’s why I waited til my third semester to take this class; I’ve got too much invested in this dream to drop out now.
- Snow days. My kids have been out of school practically more than they’ve been in school since the first of January. The first few snow days were fun; after that, not so much fun as miserable. And as soon as the weather improved:
- Sickness. My family cannot get well. We finally recovered from the swine flu epidemic, then Nolan got sick last weekend. My husband was taking the kids to Kansas so I could get some work done on my massive school project, but instead I stayed home with the sick boy. Now I am sick. Never fails.
- Busy-ness. How can a family with only two kids be so stinkin busy? Band concerts, piano contests, school dances, shopping to be done for clothes to wear to the school dances, because we apparently don’t do “semi-formal” in real life. And the best part: Every single activity/event/concert/contest/campout/field trip costs money, yay!
- Since we’re talking about money, I have to mention: Doctor visits. Prescriptions. Lab tests. ‘Nuff said.
- The winter slump has hit me hard. I don’t want to do anything, especially not anything that resembles required reading, research, citations, or attending class. Whoops, thats my whole life. What do I want to do? I want to eat ginormous amounts of baked goods, which I want someone else to prepare for me. I want to lie on the couch in a clean living room, one without tissues and medicine all over the tables. I want my house to be cleaned by someone besides me (but lets be honest, its been awhile since I’ve cleaned it). Am I asking too much, really?
So, there you have it. Blog = back burner. Actually, anything I truly enjoy = back burner right now. I am trying to write down post ideas as I have them, and I do have them, because I miss writing and having a life to write about. I keep reminding myself, I chose this, and the accompanying craziness of having a family and going back to school. Maybe I didn’t willingly choose the sickness part; that was buried in the fine print, but I chose the rest of it.
I will find my way back here to post regularly again, hopefully soon. I will conquer my schoolwork and my messy house, and maybe I’ll even bake something for myself and read a book for fun. Eventually.
Who else has a crazy life right now?
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Feb
2
We all are slowly making our way back to the land of the living after our visit from swine flu. But its slow going. I wanted to post an update, but you’ll have to excuse the randomness of my ramblings.
~My kids had a two week Christmas break. The week they went back to school, they had two snow days, so another four day weekend. Then they got a three day weekend for Martin Luther King day. Last week they got out of school early on Thursday and no school at all on Friday because of snow. Even without the flu, I would be exhausted from all the snow days! I am not enjoying this winter wonderland anymore.
~I turned 41 on Sunday. It was actually nice to be snowed in on my birthday, a very quiet day.
~I went to a meeting for parents of incoming high school students last night to learn about enrollment. I’m not sure why I was asked to attend, don’t they realize there is NO WAY my baby can be in high school?? Although that same baby keeps reminding me that he will get his driver’s permit this summer. Why does he want me to have gray hair?
~My husband and oldest son are doing the P90x program. My husband has been doing the exercise program for a few months; after the holidays he started loosely following the eating plan. Tanner started doing the exercise program in January and is also loosely following the eating plan. What this means is that there are no good snacks in my house. None. I’m all for eating healthy, but a girl needs some snacks around. Also, eating healthier means cooking more. None of this grab a bag of processed something or other and throw it in the oven. There is chopping, slicing, dicing, baking, broiling, and in my case, burning. Yes, burning. A few weekends ago, I decided to grill some steak that my inlaws had given us. My husband and Tanner were practically salivating at the thought of those steaks after a week of tuna, chicken and 500 pounds of vegetables. I started grilling when Mike and Nolan were driving home from baseball practice. I haven’t grilled in awhile, let me just say that. So when the smoke alarm went off, I ignored it. Must be malfunctioning, why would the smoke alarm in the house go off when I’m grilling outside? When that thought sunk in, I ran outside to find the back of the house covered in smoke. The flames were so out of control I could not open the grill for about 20 minutes after I turned it off. So when Mike got home, starving for steak, to find a plate with baked fish and a pile of veggies waiting for him, he was not happy. We all cried that night.
~I am not doing the P90x program with the guys. I may have told them that I am diligently doing the workouts during the day, when I’m home alone. That may have been a small lie fib. The truth is more like when I’m home alone I sometimes pick up the exercise dvds and move them off the table. To make room for my snack. Then I remember, NO SNACKS! I’m really suffering through their fitness program, and I do not appreciate it.
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Dec
31
Happy Almost 2010! 2009 tried its darndest to leave me battered and beaten, but I’m still here. Still here and still fighting.
I want to ring in the New Year with gratitude and joy, so here is a list of things I am so very thankful for right at this moment:
- My boys. If I never do anything else right in my life, I have done two things very right, and they bring blessings and joy to my life every day.
- Health. Mine and my families. Never before 2009 have I faced such health problems, and never again will I take my health for granted.
- My husband. He deserves his own category, because he loves me in spite of myself.
- My various jobs. I am grateful just to have a job right now, even if none of them is anywhere close to being a “dream” job.
- My dog. Unconditional love all the time. You just can’t beat it.
- Home. I have one. It is warm and it is mine. I love it
- My parents. I’m so sorry for all the years I resented you and thought I hated you. I was wrong, and I was difficult, yet you always love me.
- My in-laws. If only everyone could be as blessed as I am to have in-laws like you.
- Opportunities. Not everyone can go back to school, but I am doing it and doing it well. I know this is a huge gift, and I am determined not to waste it.
- Friends. Online and in-real-life. A gift I need to learn how to give back.
- Second chances. Every single day is a chance to get it right, and I have needed every single day of my 40 years. I may not have gotten it right yet, but I am thankful for the chance to try, and I will keep trying.
I hope this is a coherent post. It is truly from my heart, but the glass of wine I had to ring in 2010 is making me foggy and sleepy. I hope you are wherever you want to be right now, and I hope you are looking forward to 2010. Let go of 2009, let go of the mistakes and heartaches of the past, and move forward with anticipation of the good things that you WILL make happen in your life.
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Dec
23
Happy almost Christmas! I’ve finished -and survived- my grad school semester, with just a couple of dark circles under my eyes to show for it. So glad to be finished for a few weeks.
I have to confess. I kept waiting to feel the holiday spirit, but I don’t. I haven’t felt festive or joyous or merry. In fact, I’ve read about people that get seriously depressed by the holidays, and for the first time, I felt that way. It has not been pretty. I’m not making light of it, because I’ve dealt with depression before and there’s nothing light about it. It just kind of snuck up on me in the past few weeks.
A little over a week ago, I was just done. DONE. I didnt want to get out of bed. I wanted December to be over. My husband gently but firmly convinced me that on that particular day, a Sunday, I needed to get up and go to church with my family. Very grudgingly, I did.
My heart was pretty closed that day, I just felt horrible. You know where this story is going, right? Somehow, when the priest talked, it was like he knew how dark my heart felt. I won’t repeat everything, but his message couldn’t have been more fitting for me.
One of the things he said was something about how we are supposed to give, no matter what we are lacking. We all have something to give. He said, if you have two coats, give one to someone who needs it. That also spoke directly to me. We don’t have a lot and sometimes the list of things we need seems overwhelming and impossible, but I have two coats. More than two. My sons have two coats. We all have plenty of coats, and we are all warm. I need to remember that too many people don’t even have that.
I cried throughout that church service, I couldn’t stop. But I was better. It was the boost I needed to make it through this month. It was hope, which I was greatly lacking.
My kids and I cleaned out our closets yesterday. We took three garbage bags full of clothes – and coats – to a local charity. That put some much needed joy in my heart.
We all have something to give, even in our darkest days. What can you give?
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Dec
10
Overwhelmed, buried, stressed out, burnt out, tired. Did you guess “words that describe Sheri right now”? If so, you win!
No time to chat, or sleep, but I wanted to share a moment of my day with you. This moment is symbolic of how my entire week has gone.
Picture the great state of Oklahoma in all its glory. In all of Oklahoma, there is only one small patch of ice. Just one. So it should be easy to avoid. Huh. Not quite, because now you can picture me, flat on the ground in the parking lot of my doctors office, after I found the only patch of ice in Oklahoma. Of course I did. Its my gift.
I did see the ice just as I stepped on it. I knew what was going to happen, but I had nothing to grab. My elbow and butt hit the ground hard. I was sure I heard bone crunch but I think it was my pride disintegrating. At times like that, I really envy toddlers. Its perfectly acceptable for them to cry and wail and weep and moan when they fall, even if they are only two feet from the ground and land on soft carpet in their padded diapers. I wanted to cry and moan and wail, although I’m not sure if it was because of the pain or the absolute mortification I was feeling. Instead, I propped myself up and hobbled across the parking lot.
I would like to say that my son, who was walking ahead of me, was a gentlemen and only expressed concern for his dear mother. No. He did ask if I was okay before busting into loud uncontrollable laughter. Apparently he saw the ice in time to avoid it. Hmph. He did come back and help me stand up and held my arm as we walked. While he laughed.
They say life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes, life is like one big patch of ice just waiting for me to crash and burn.
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Dec
4
I might be over Christmas. Over as in, moving on. Oh, not over the holiday. Over the frenzy that seems to start earlier and earlier every year. I’m seriously considering dropping out of the whole thing.
Christmas – the holiday – is probably my favorite time of the year. I love the start of cold weather, the twinkling lights on the houses, pretty trees lit up in windows, and Christmas music. I don’t love the comercialized version of this holiday. I never have, but as I get older and crankier, I don’t want to participate anymore.
I long ago decided that the Black Friday shopping madness was not for me. Lately I’ve been thinking that I want to avoid the shopping madness all season long, not just on Black Friday. When did this holiday become all about bargains and sales and long lists of wants? I could be wrong, but it seems like we’re missing the point.
For me, this is very much a religous holiday. However, I respect other people’s beliefs and don’t want to assume that it is about religon for anyone else. But since that is my belief, then all this buying and shopping is contrary to what I really want to be celebrating right now. My family. Our health. Friends. Not getting the best deal on the latest and greatest electronic gadget.
I won’t lie. If money was no object – and it has always been an object – maybe I’d think differently. If I didn’t have a budget, then maybe shopping wouldn’t be so distasteful to me. But I know my heart pretty well, and its really not about money or the lack of it. My kids are used to what they consider “slim” Christmases, which I consider not slim but certainly not excessive. We’ve never gone overboard with gifts, which goes back to that whole money thing. It makes me happy that when I ask my boys what they want for Christmas, they don’t have a long list of stuff. In fact, one of my kids cannot come up with more than one thing he wants. There are a few things they need, which they will get, but it will be slim, again. There probably will not be a gift under our tree with my name on it. The things I want more than anything are things I need, and no one can give me these things. I need rest. I need peace. I’m not being hokey. There is not one single product that anyone could buy that I want. Not buying anything for me – now that does make me happy.
This has been a crazy, stressful year for my family. Health issues, job issues, kid issues, on and on. The last thing I want is to spend December trying to figure out how to pay for a lot of “wants” and then fighting the crowds to shop for those wants. Nothing crushes my Christmas spirit more than the dreaded mall – or Super Center.
A lot of blogs post Christmas gift guides, with the coolest gift ideas. I love reading those, especially the ones with homemade gifts. I even posted a gift guide last year. But I’ll be honest, I’m not a shopper, so for me to come up with a gift guide is a stretch. And this year, more than any year before, I’m not in the mood for those kinds of guides. I’m going to be contrary and offer you a different kind of guide. This is my guide, a guide of things I love doing during December. Most of them cannot be bought, either online or in stores 
- Now that my kids are older, letting them get out the Christmas decorations and decorate as they want – even if their decorating would make Martha Stewart cringe.
- Seeing my son get excited about doing his annual Christmas “job” , which is making covered pretzels.
- Watching our favorite holiday movies as a family. Elf, A Christmas Story, Its a Wonderful Life, and of course, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer
- Driving around looking at the lights
- Going to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. That was the boys’ idea last year, and we all loved it. There’s just something magical about midnight on Christmas Eve.
- The fact that my sons still want to leave milk and cookies out on Christmas Eve, even though they know.
There’s my guide. No gifts. But plenty to warm your heart and help you get in the proper holiday spirit.
My oldest son was recently given some money by his grandfather. Not much, just $5. But that was $5 more than he had. He went to the mall with his $5 bill. And gave it to the bell ringer outside the mall. Bless that child. Maybe the true spirit of Christmas, the spirit I love and crave, has found its way through the consumerism after all.
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Dec
3
This is pretty much exactly how I feel right now:
Except he gets to sleep all day. Lucky dog.
After a nice long Thanksgiving break, I came home with some kind of sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching bug. The kind of bug where all you want to do is sleep, but you can’t, because you can’t breathe!
I’m finishing up my grad school semester, so lots of projects due and very little free time. Light posting here for about another week, then I’ll be ready to celebrate the end of the semester – and hopefully clear sinuses!
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Nov
19
Have you heard of this book? Its edited by one of the founders of kirtsy and filled with favorites from kirtsy. Imagine how excited you would be if you were a brand new blogger and found out that you were going to be included in that book.
I don’t have to imagine it. A little over a year ago, I was a brand new blogger, and I got the most exciting email from the editor of the kirtsy book, telling me that they wanted to include one of my blog posts in that book! I can’t tell you how that made me feel. At any point in my adult life, if you asked me what my dream job/career would be, I would tell you that I wish I could be a writer. So to find out that
1) people besides my mom liked my writing! and
2) they liked it so well they wanted to put it in a book! It was a dream come true.
I signed the paperwork and sent it back, and then I’m embarrassed to admit I emailed several times to make sure they got my paperwork – I didn’t want to screw this up! But they did get it and said everything was good. I knew the book wasn’t coming out for over a year, but I was still excited. I heard from them one more time, asking me to send in an image for the book, which I did.
I read kirtsy. I read the personal blogs of the lovely ladies that created kirtsy. And I do think they are all lovely, even though I don’t know them. Those ladies are social media goddesses and bloggers extraordinaire! Of course I was thrilled that they chose my work for their book! But more than that, more than being chosen by women I admire to be included in a book with other people that I admire, I was just so excited that something I wrote was going to be published. Dreams do come true.
I kept checking kirtsy for updates and the publication date kept getting pushed back. Finally this summer I read that it would be coming out in the fall. I kept checking my email, but nothing. By accident, I read a blurb about the book at one of the blogs I read regularly, with the book cover and publication date. I thought maybe I should put that on here, but then I thought, wait, surely the book editors will contact the contributors with all that info. (thank God for that little hesitation) So I waited a little longer, then started emailing the same women who I had corresponded with last year.
I never got a response to my emails. Even though I knew better, I was still holding out hope that maybe the emails got lost, but that I was still going to be in the book. But no. My post is not in the book.
The adult in me knows that these things happen, its business, nothing personal. But my inner child feels a little bit like the junior high girl who got invited to the cool kids’ party, only to have them say “just joking” on the day of the party.
Please understand – I’m not saying thats what happened. I’m saying that as someone who experienced that type of thing before, I recognize that feeling, I know that feeling well, and to the part of me that still suffers from that acute insecurity, this feels similar.
I was thisclose to being in the kirtsy book! OMG! I told my family, friends, coworkers and a few bloggers I know. This was a huge deal for me. For everyone on the other side – the publisher, the editor – it is just business and of course it’s not personal. I know that, and I don’t want to even hint that I think there was anything mean about this. But its still very personal for me. No matter what happened, it is legitimate for me to feel disappointed. And hurt. And embarrassed – because who was I kidding thinking I could be in that book.
Whatever the reason, whatever happened, what I really wish is that instead of telling me “You have been selected to be published”, they had said you might be published, but you might not be. If that little word might had been there, I wouldn’t have gotten as excited. I wouldn’t have told anyone that I was going to be in such an awesome book. I wouldn’t have done anything but cross my fingers and hope that I was picked. And that would have been better than the slow sinking realization that this particular dream wasn’t going to come true.
Thisclose is almost worse than not anywhere close at all.
I was considering not buying the book, not rubbing salt in the wound, but ARE YOU CRAZY? Have you seen the list of people who did contribute to the book? That is the most awesome list of writers that I have seen in a long time. So far I haven’t been able to find it locally, but I am going to get it. I am absolutely awed by that contributor list. Some of them I have been reading for a long time, some I have never heard of. They deserve this, and they deserve to be congratulated. Especially those on the list who are being published for the first time – what an incredible achievement. Congratulations, great job, and enjoy it.
I’m sure I’ll love the book, and the sting will only last a little while.
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Nov
11
I have been at my local hospital three times in the past 4 weeks for tests, and I have learned quite a bit. I hope this information is helpful.
- The nurses and technicians will be some of the nicest, kindest people you will ever meet. At least, that has been my experience, and I am eternally grateful for that.
- No matter how bad you think you feel, you will see someone that clearly feels much worse than you do. While this won’t make you feel better, it definitely helps put things in perspective.
- If your doctor says the test will take about 20-30 minutes, plan on actually being at the hospital for about 3.5 hours. Or a bit longer. Nothing at the hospital takes 20-30 minutes, not even getting checked in.
- Bring a book. If you don’t bring anything to do, you might end up watching a fascinating television show on current news events, such as the Laci Peterson murder – or whatever else the nice but sleepy elderly lady put the channel on before she fell asleep holding the remote.
- When the nurse is getting ready to draw blood or start an IV, and she says “Now you’ll feel a little bee sting”, don’t believe her. More than likely, you will feel about 4 not so little bee stings as she hunts for a vein in your apparently vein-less arms.
- The little top they give you to put on has snaps, not just the little ties, which don’t actually help cover anything. Look for the snaps, and use them! Or be very embarrassed, like I was. Live and learn I guess
I think I am finally done with tests, woohoo! Now I wait for results and see what happens from here. No matter what, I will never forget those little snaps again.
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