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Jun
7
Both my boys have June birthdays, so we have celebrations on the brain around here. We don’t go crazy with parties, but we have had parties for them when they were younger, and they’ve gone to many summer birthday parties, too. When my kids were little, we would have a combined party for both of them, since they had the same friends. Now that they are older, we don’t usually do big parties, but instead we’ll let them pick one or two friends to do something with. I thought I’d share some of our favorite parties – some we hosted, some my kids attended. Here we go, counting down to number 1:
10. An art party. When my kids were younger, they were invited to an arts and crafts party by the sister of one of their buddies. This probably wouldn’t go over too well at their ages now, but for six and seven year olds, it was a huge success. This family set up card tables in their garage and had two simple crafts for each kid to work on. Even my not-so-artsy child enjoyed this party.
9. Gymnastics party. My sons were friends with some kids that took gymnastics, and they had a party at the local gymnastics school. They were about five years old, and the kids absolutely had a blast. This is probably pretty typical of any party at a business; they had the party room for presents and cake. But here the big attraction was the gymnastics rooms, with ropes to climb, foam pits to jump into and general rowdiness.
8. Party at the park. We did this several times as a combined party for both of them. This was years ago, but I’m pretty sure we were able to rent a covered eating area at local parks for around $20-$25 dollars for 2-3 hours. We did this as a potluck with extended family or just with cake for friends. This is one of the easiest, low maintenance parties we ever did. Which is a big deal for mom 
7. Party at the movie theatre. My kids have been to lots of these. Our local theatre has a couple party rooms for the cake and presents and an arcade. You can pay extra for a private movie viewing room, or just watch the movie in the regular theatre – the kids really don’t care.
6. Party at the drive-in movie theatre. We did this for our son a couple years ago; he chose two friends and we saw the Cars movie. It was a huge hit with the boys. I had forgotten how fun a drive-in is, and I loved it too.
5. Party at the amusement park. My son was invited to celebrate a friend’s birthday at a local amusement park. The birthday boy chose three friends to spend the evening riding the rides and eating the junk food. This was a small amusement park; I don’t know if I’d attempt this in one of the large mega parks. But I’m a chicken that way, lol.
4. Sleepover party. There are endless variations on this party theme. We were never content with the plain old sleepover, so we had to mix it up. That usually meant sleeping outside in our tent that we use for Boy Scout camping. Throw in smores, root beer floats, and late night flashlight tag outside in the dark, and the kids had a great time. These kinds of parties are my favorite, and it’s the kind that we did most often: inexpensive, easy, and a lot of fun.
3. A paintball party. This has become a recent favorite; we did this last year for Nolan. Something about shooting your friends with globs of paint and causing lovely welts and bruises – ?? I may not understand it, but they love it.
2. A swim party. We did this years ago as a combined party for both boys. A small town about twenty miles away would let you rent the public pool for several hours in the evening. We had called all over to price this party, and this small town pool was cheaper than any party option we checked into. Since it wasn’t at my house, we didn’t have to deal with clean up or space constrictions. We brought food and drinks and shared with the teenage lifeguards; they really made the party fun for the kids. The boys still talk about how great this party was. I’d have to agree.
And the #1 birthday party that we have ever had (drumroll):
Party in the backyard. Yes, it’s true. We would fill hundreds, maybe thousands (ok, that’s an exaggeration) of water balloons, fill up the kiddie pool, turn on the sprinkler and let them get soaked. We did this several times, starting when they were in preschool and on up, usually as a combined party. This does mean a lot of clean up for the parents, but it’s so easy to do. Sometimes we would have cake, sometimes a cookie cake, sometimes we’d do snack foods. The kids didn’t care about the food, they just loved the water play. These parties went on for hours, and my boys slept like a rock when it was over. I miss those backyard parties.
There you have it; our favorite birthday parties. Feel free to share yours in the comments – I can always use new ideas, especially for older kids.
This post is part of Top Ten Tuesday at ohamanda.
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Jun
3
You know those blogs that give you great advice on parenting and how to improve your family life? Um, that would not be this one, lol. I’m one that needs great advice!
School has been out for a week now, and I survived. Slightly more frazzled, but I survived. My kids have had friends over, had sleepovers and went to sleepovers at friends’ houses. They’ve been busy little social butterflies. And I’m glad for that, except for the fact that these butterflies need a driver (that would be me).
I have to laugh because my kids have both complained before about how much work school is, how hard it is. But now that school is out and they are playing all day, they’re so much more exhausted at the end of the day. It’s being outside, walking a lot, riding bikes, playing baseball and swimming. These guys are beat. Apparently playing is actually more exhausting than “working” at school.
My oldest spent most of yesterday at a friend’s house, came home for dinner and to clean up, then spent the night at another friends house. I picked him up this afternoon; of course, he was so tired he fell asleep in the car on the way home. All that playtime again. But then tonight after dinner he asked to go back over to his friends house. This friend lives close enough that he can walk back and forth, and he just wanted to go hang out for awhile since we weren’t doing anything.
We said no. He really didn’t understand that, because we weren’t doing anything. I was working, which is pretty much a constant; my husband was being a superhero and vacuuming up the massive amounts of dog hair we are collecting, and Nolan was tired from his own busy day of playing. So why didn’t we let him go?
My husband and I both said no without discussing it with each other first; No was just the initial gut response. I said no because I knew my son was tired and needed to get to bed early. I also like having them home; he’d been at friends’ houses for almost two days straight.
My husband said no on the principle that sometimes you just gotta say no He just couldn’t think of a good reason for our son to be out again tonight, after being gone all day yesterday and today. And he wanted Tanner to be rested tomorrow to help with the yard work.
After we said no, I started second guessing myself. It’s summer, for crying out loud! Aren’t they supposed to get to do things they can’t do during the school year? It’s not like he needed to wake up early the next day. I mentioned my second thoughts to my husband – also known as the man who NEVER second guesses himself. He just doesn’t do that, he makes his decision then it’s done. So he didn’t agree with my second guessing, but no surprise there.
I sometimes feel like we say no just to say it, because it seems like what we should be doing as parents. I do think we made the right call tonight, because he is tired, and like most kids, he’ll choose to have fun even if he’s exhausted.
How do you set limits during the summer? If it’s during the day, I rarely say no when they get invited somewhere or want to invite someone over. The main reason: because I cannot be the entertainment committee (that is my summertime mantra). I can’t arrange their fun, I can’t be at their beck and call to drive them anywhere and everywhere at the drop of a hat. I can’t, and I wouldn’t even if I could. So I encourage them to find things to do or places to go.
I do say no more to sleepovers. I don’t think they need to sleep over at someone else’s house more than one night in a row. They don’t sleep well at sleepovers, they stay up too late and wake up too early, and we get the brunt of their tiredness the next day. Because of my chronic lack of sleep, I’m a little obsessed with making sure my kids get plenty of it. But that’s pretty much where I start to set limits. Other than that, I’m okay with them hanging out with their friends a lot.
I do have a few goals for my kids this summer, most of which involve reading lots of books that I have picked out for them. Other than that, I’m happy to see them playing, biking, walking, swimming and having fun.
Do you have set rules or limits on social activities, or do you decide on a case by case basis? Do you have a schedule that you keep in the summer with your kids, or is it kind of willy nilly, figure it out as the day progresses? (If you hadn’t guessed, I would fall into the willy nilly category.)
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Jun
1
My husband and sons just returned from a visit with relatives. My husband made the comment that his mom is so patient with our boys.
She always has been. It’s a grandma thing. When our first son was born, we lived next door to my in-laws. At the end of many days, when I was worn out from feeding, carrying, and rocking my baby and he still wouldn’t stop fussing and crying, we’d walk next door. As soon as I’d hand my usually crying baby to my mother-in-law, he would calm down.
It infuriated me to no end when that happened. I’d ask my husband, how can my baby like his grandma better than me? (Sleep deprivation tends to make you think irrationally) He’d laugh, but I knew why.
I was exhausted, stressed out, afraid I was “doing it wrong”, afraid that my baby crying meant that I was no good as a mom. I was tense, and my baby knew it. When I placed him in her arms, he could relax, because she was relaxed. She wasn’t tense or worried.
These days my boys are too old and too big for their grandma to hold them. But the difference is still huge.
When I see annoying habits that irritate me to the point of anger, she sees funny quirks that make her laugh.
When I see behavior that they refuse to change despite my instructions to do so, she sees teenage boys trying to grow up, and she recognizes that all kids go through it.
When I see behavior that borders on rude or obnoxious, she sees her charming grandsons acting living up to “boys will be boys”.
When I see boys that have tested me and pushed me to the breaking point, when I am certain that their futures are doomed, she sees her brilliant, kind, sweet grandsons that only make her proud.
Her sight isn’t clouded over by past hurts or past fits of anger and words flung carelessly around. She sees them clearly without remnants of last week’s disobedience or power struggles.
She sees them with her heart.
How do we see our children? Sometimes I am so worn out from the battles of parenting, on top of the battles in my own life, that I only see the things in my children that drive me crazy. I only see the arguments, the fights, the slammed doors or messes left for me to clean up.
I am trying to look at my sons through their grandmother’s eyes. To look at them with love, first and foremost, without any of the other things that can cloud my vision. I want to see only their goodness first, before the rest comes rushing in. I want to see them with joy and love, looking from my heart.
I want them to be able to see that in my eyes when they look at me.
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May
30
I really didn’t mean for this to be such a long post. I start to write these days and I just can’t stop the words. I hope you can stick with me til the end.
Have I mentioned that my oldest son is a musician? I’m sure I have He plays the piano and the bass clarinet in the school band. Our local school takes band very seriously here; the high school band always wins area competitions and has huge support in the community. As the mom of a non-athlete, I really appreciate a school that values other extracurricular activities.
My son will be is in high school now (that still hasn’t sunk in). The high school band gets to march in the Rose Bowl Parade in Pasadena California next December! What a huge honor, and how exciting for those kids. My son can’t hardly wait to get started marching. Conditioning starts in June; the parade route is over five miles, so they have to get in shape for it. In August, the band will practice daily from 8am to 4pm. This is a lot of work, and they emphasize that the kids have to be serious and committed to stick with it. My son is. Music is his life, and he hopes to get a music scholarship.
About this trip to the Rose Bowl. It’s expensive. When I found out about the trip earlier this year I called the mom in charge of fundraising for the band. She gave me all the details including dates, prices and a partial list of upcoming fundraising events. The preliminary price she gave me seemed within reach as long as we did the fundraisers and saved any money he earns mowing yards. My son has participated in every possible fundraiser, but it’s hard to sell candy bars and plants when every other school group is selling the same thing. He has two yards this summer; it’s hard to get mowing jobs in this economy. There are literally dozens of ads for lawn services at any given time, and most of our past customers aren’t able to afford it now.
The band chairperson called me last week with the final details and price for the trip, and the price is actually almost double the amount I was originally given. It’s going to be about $1000 for the travel (bus), hotel, meals and activities. It’s actually a great price for a trip of that magnitude. But it’s still out of reach, and the $86 he has accumulated from the fundraisers makes just a tiny dent.
So I’m borrowing a great idea from another blogger who wanted to raise money to attend a blogging conference (thanks Ashley!). I mentioned in a previous post that I had been blessed by a local business with some things to give away here, for whatever purpose I wanted. I’ve already had a couple giveaways, but I’ve been waiting to give away the items I still have. After wracking my brain for the past few days about how to break it to my son that there’s just no way for us to send him on that band trip, I remembered Ashley’s brilliant idea.
I have two grand prizes and several smaller prizes to give away. There will be several ways to enter as there always are for any of my giveaways. In addition, if you are so inclined to help send my son to the Rose Bowl Parade with his band, you can earn extra entries. No purchase or financial contribution is required for this giveaway.
The giveaway is made possible by some generations donations and assistance from some angels who live in my community. They’ve helped as much as they can, and it is a huge help. I’ve talked this over with them and have gotten their blessing to use these items for this purpose. It’s not a sponsored giveaway; the prizes are items that I have purchased.
If you read my blog at all, you know that right now I’m struggling with a lot of things. You probably wonder why I’m even trying to do this for my son, for a band trip. I know that in the big scheme of things, this is not a priority. If you are a parent, you might understand. My son is in the ninth grade. It’s never too soon to start thinking about college, and for us, thinking about college means thinking about scholarship opportunities. We’ve talked to his piano teacher about things he can do and competitions he can enter that will improve his chances at getting a music scholarship. This is not a whim of his that he will get bored with next week. He’s been taking music lessons for over five years. He’s good at it. I’m not just being a proud mom; music professionals have told me this. So to me, this is not just a fun trip. It’s an investment in his future. Yes, it is also the trip of a lifetime. A trip that we would never be able to send him on if not for the band. The band doesn’t get to do this every year; they may not get to do it again while he’s in school. I can’t be certain that there will ever be a second chance for him to go.
If you think it’s wrong of me to want this for my son, I understand. I do want it for him though, and I’m willing to do this to try to make it happen. You all get a fun giveaway with some great prizes to kick off the summer, and if you want, you have the option to help a boy follow his dream. Participation in anything is always optional.
For so many of the struggles and trials that I’m going through right now, there is nothing I can do right at this moment to change or affect the outcome. Being stuck in a holding pattern with no possible forward movement is frustrating, to say the least. In this situation, which also seemed impossible a few days ago, there is something I can do to try to change the outcome. This giveaway was going to happen regardless; I’m just mixing it up a bit.
The giveaway will be posted later today; I hope you’ll check back for the exciting details.
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May
24
When I signed up for this parenting gig, a whole bunch of things were left out of the job description! Diapers, bottles, potty training, tantrums; I was prepared for all that.
No one told me that there would come a time when I would choose to let my child fall instead of carry him safely to his destination. When that would be the best choice I could make for him. And the hardest choice I ever made.
I have always been adamant that I would not be one of those parents who nags about homework, or does their children’s projects for them, or calls teachers to ask for second chances. Their school work is their job, not mine. After a certain age, I don’t think it’s even my job to remind them to do their homework.
Since I’m sharing a whole lot about myself these days, I need to honestly admit that while I have always believed those things, these days I have so much going on that even if I wanted to, I just don’t have the time to remember all the things my kids are responsible for. My life has been in a state of chaos for several months now, and I’m lucky to meet my own obligations. It’s a good thing I’ve never been the type of parent to monitor their homework assignments, because I’d be blowing it now.
So my boys have grown up doing their own work, which has meant turning in less than stellar art and science projects. At least compared to the art and science projects that had an abundance of adult “help”. They have grown up used to the fact that some days I might ask them if they’ve finished their homework, but most days I won’t ask. I still expect it to be done. They’ve never had a problem with this.
Ah, but you knew this was coming. They’ve never had a problem until now. You see, my teenage son is just way too smart, way too advanced, to be bothered with homework. Eighth grade work is just so far beneath him, especially since he is so much smarter than his teachers. Can you hear the sarcasm dripping down my computer screen? I just love this attitude.
I have many friends with 14 and 15 year old sons, and this attitude of superiority, this “I know better than anyone else” attitude seems to be pretty common. That doesn’t make it any easier for me.
My son’s problem is that he is smart. Certain things come so easily for him, so he’s spent the majority of his educational career not needing to study. But classes are harder now. And as he gets closer to high school, he needs to buckle down.
More honesty now. I have emailed teachers more in the past month than I have for the entire time my son has been in school. I want his teachers to know that I know, and that I am concerned. I have been checking the parent website for his grades daily, actually hourly.
In reality, his grades aren’t bad. He keeps reminding me of that. But several of his grades are borderline, so if he has decided that he doesn’t need to worry about final exams, those grades may very well plummet. I lie in bed at night and confess to my husband how worried I am that he will blow everything in the last few days of school.
And I have become the nagging mom. I have talked until I’m blue in the face about how important it is not to fall behind, because there is no time to make things up now. I have talked about the future and about how a few of his classes are for high school credit. I have talked about it so much that I am sick of hearing it myself. And it hasn’t done a bit of good.
There are a few things I haven’t done. I haven’t helped him with his final projects. Those projects were well within his capabilities. I haven’t asked his teachers to extend deadlines for work not turned in on time. And the hardest of all; I haven’t told him how very disappointed I am. Not in his grades, but because he is squandering his God given gifts.
I won’t lie and say that grades aren’t important to me. They are. But more than grades, what I value the most is effort. If either of my children gives it their best effort and still ends up with a bad grade, I am okay with that. I am not okay with giving absolutely no effort, then acting shocked when you get a bad grade.
I suppose there is more that I could have done to avoid this situation. I could have been more strict about checking their homework every night. But I still say that it’s not my job. I could carry my son to the finish line and make sure that his grades reflect his abilities. But it’s not my job, and what does he learn if I do that?
My mother in law is such a wise woman, and she told me that sometimes you just have to let them fail, let them get what they deserve, and let them deal with the repercussions. This little tidbit was not in my parenting manual, and it is so hard to do.
Part of me wants to march into my son’s room right this minute and yell, nag, threaten, bribe, or beg. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes to get the outcome that I want. Part of me wants to force him to do this my way, whether he wants to or not. Because I said so.
But this time I have to let him fall. I can’t carry him, and I can’t pick him up when he falls. I have to stand back and let this play out.
That doesn’t mean that we won’t be doling out consequences. The consequences will be swift and probably harsh, at least in his eyes. But I cannot stand over him waving the potential consequences in an attempt to force him to act like I want him to act. To try as hard as I want him to try. He has to do this himself and for the right reasons.
This goes against everything I thought it meant to be a parent. My arms are strong, and my heart is willing. I can carry both of my boys. I can be their strength, their moral compass, their light in the darkness. I can, but I can’t. They have to find it in themselves.
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May
20
My youngest son has a chronic problem with ingrown toenails. I’ll spare you the details, but he gets them all the time, and several have gotten so infected that the doctor had to remove part of his nail.
This has been going on for years. When he was younger, he would tell me right away that he had one, and usually if he started antibiotics right away it would get better on its own. But in the past year he’s stopped telling me when he has one, and I only find out once it gets so infected that he can’t stand the pain. He doesn’t want to take the chance that he’ll have to have part of his nail removed, because that hurts worse than the infection. I found out by accident last night; I overheard him say something about his toe to his father, and I knew. I asked to see it and he tried to refuse, saying it was nothing. His toe is so swollen and infected that I’m surprised he can wear shoes. Needless to say, we’re heading to the doctor this morning.
I’m annoyed that he didn’t tell me, but I’m also worried because I googled infected toe nail; now I know how serious it can be to let the infection go without treatment. I understand wanting to avoid having the nail removed, but I don’t know how he’s been wearing shoes and walking, it’s that bad.
Lots of times when I’m dealing with my kids, it’s like looking in a mirror, and this is no exception. Aren’t we all like this? Maybe we have a small, seemingly minor irritation that we decide to just ignore and hope that it goes away. Instead of addressing the problem, we keep it to ourselves.
Many times for me, if I keep a problem to myself, it festers in my heart. It eats away at my good intentions and turns them to anger or resentment. If I keep it to myself, I’m probably not going to see a solution. I’m just going to feel stuck, with no way out.
When I think of all the times I had a problem that I kept to myself, and how much easier it would have been on me if I had opened up to someone, anyone. Even opened up in prayer and let it all out. It never hurts to let things out, to share your problems. But it can make things much worse if you keep it inside and let it fester into something bigger than you can handle.
I get so exasperated with my son. I told my husband last night, if he would only tell me right away, it would be so much easier to deal with. This is such a simple lesson, not too much to expect. Yet I don’t do it myself most of the time. I have shared feelings on this blog recently that I would never have shared before. I have opened my heart and poured out my fear, worry, and anxiety. And it has helped. Letting out the fear and worry makes room for hope and faith, and even a tiny bit of hope makes a huge difference in how we look at our problems.
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May
7
As a child, I knew my parents loved me. What I wasn’t sure about was whether or not they liked me, and that became a very important distinction.
In honor of Mother’s Day, I want to share some of the things I like about my sons. Someday I will share this with them, when they’re old enough to not be absolutely mortified by this display of motherly mushiness. I want it written down because it’s very important to me that they know why I like them so much.
Tanner ~ Firstborn. Child with my spirit. You are funny, witty, and bright. You are quick with a joke and finally the jokes make sense. You are insightful; you know when a sharp word is hiding a secret hurt. You are able to talk to adults on their level; respectfully and intelligently. This brings me great joy. You know how to be polite, and nothing makes me happier when you respond to my often asked “How are you” with a “How are you” of your own. You are creative, unlike your mama, which also brings me joy. You are tender hearted, and you have a special affinity for getting along with little children. They adore you, and so do I. I see your heart under the teenage bluster; I see the man you will become. He is a good man. Stay on this path and trust yourself. I am walking with you, but you already know the way.
Nolan ~ Second born. Child so much like your father. From the beginning, my serious boy. Everything you are that I am not, I envy. Such a quick learner; everything seems to come easily for you. Always the hard worker, I depend on you so much. After years of being quiet, staying in the shadow of the firstborn, you are starting to find yourself. I love that you are finally becoming comfortable with the fact that it is okay to be different from your brother. Your sense of humor is emerging, and you are hysterical. I absolutely love it when you zing your brother at the dinner table. Still completely unexpected; so he sits there with his mouth hanging open. You were born with the gift of self confidence; hold onto that always. Talented athlete, so unlike me. You are also very smart; don’t let anyone tell you differently. I love watching your personality bloom as you become less of a homebody. As different as we are, know that you are just as much me as your brother is. I catch glimpses of me in your words and actions and my heart beams. Keep following your own path child, and I will be on it with you.
I love you both because you are my sons. I like you both because of what is in your hearts.
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May
6
When my first son was born, I was both relieved and terrified. Relieved because I had such a tumultuous relationship with my own mother that I was afraid of having a daughter; and terrified, because as I kept saying to anyone who would listen, I had no idea how to raise a boy!
Since I have two boys, I can’t guess whether or not boys are easier than girls. So far, my boys have been easier than I was. But I hit my prime age of difficulty about 15, and my oldest turns 15 in June, so things could still get worse.
I think it’s different for mothers and daughters though. I know now that many of my disagreements with my mom stemmed from her steadfast desire that I “do better” than she did. In life and in marriage. She had a very hard time letting go; she wanted to be smack in the middle of every decision I made, even in my twenties. That certainly didn’t help our relationship; and while I readily admit that I was a difficult child, I deeply resented her questioning every move I wanted to make. This all came to a head when I had my first child. The last thing I wanted was to be criticized as a new mom. Support, love, encouragement, but not criticism.
There’s been a pretty deep chasm between us for years. The resentments I held came to the surface when I had my own children, and the easiest way to deal with it was to limit communication. That was even easier when we moved three hours away.
Eleven years later, there is still a lot of hurt and resentment. But it’s fading away as I am more acutely aware that despite all the hurtful words and actions, I don’t want to waste any time on being angry. My parents were in their late thirties when I was born. They are elderly and in poor health, and it’s easier to forget the past when the future is so uncertain and frightening.
I am trying to remember the hurts that caused my mom and I to drift apart. Some of them are so fresh it still stings, but most have lost their sharpness. I don’t want to forgive and forget. I want to forgive and remember. I have two children of my own. I need to remember my own hurts so I can avoid hurting my own boys. Daughters are not the only ones who can be deeply hurt by idle words. I have said things that I would have instantly taken back if I could; angry words that at the time were meant to hurt. Angry words that have left a mark on my children, and on my heart.
I would never claim to be able to give parenting advice; I’m still a student at that school. But I do know this: Just as I remember my own mother’s words like it was yesterday, our children will remember our words. Tread lightly with their hearts.
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May
5
My life was forever altered by a baby boy.
I had big plans. I had finished my first year of law school, but my then boyfriend and I were tired of the long distance relationship after five years of seeing each other only on weekends. So I decided to take a year or two off from school. This decision was met with extreme opposition from most of my friends. Why should I quit school for a guy? It would never work; I would never be able to go back. Marriage can wait, school can’t. I heard it all, but by the time I spoke out loud what I wanted to do, it was already a done deal in my heart.
We would get married, he would finish his master’s program, then he could transfer to the closest town with a law school. If he couldn’t transfer, then I would drive back and forth to school in the part time program. It was very doable, and we were committed to that plan. I loved law school, and I had no intention of not finishing.
Which leads me to ask, do we choose the paths we take, or are they chosen for us?
Things went according to our plan for awhile. We got married and he worked on his master’s. I called the two closest law schools and got the necessary paperwork so when he graduated I would be ready. I was following my chosen path.
Three months after we got married I found out I was pregnant. This was such a shock to me that when the doctor’s office called and confirmed it, I left my job and drove to the university where he was studying for his exams. I had no idea where he was; I had never attended his university. But I searched the parking lots until I found his car, and finally I found him. He thought I had dropped by over my lunch hour to give him some support and encouragement.
Instead, I gave him the news that would change the path of both our lives forever. We were going to have a baby.
It takes a lot to render my guy speechless, but that did it. All we could do was hug. And cry.
Tears of absolute joy and unabashed happiness. Tears of wonder at God’s blessings for us.
Our families were happy for us, but the unspoken words were of concern and worry. We were young and poor, and without mentioning it, everyone wondered about our “master plan” for me to go back to school. I still believed it could be done, just a year later than planned and definitely part time. I still made phone calls and filled out paperwork.
One month after my husband completed his master’s degree, our baby boy was born. And a door closed forever.
I was completely in love with that baby before I ever saw him, but when I looked into his eyes for the first time, eyes almost identical to my own, my heart cracked wide open. Nothing else mattered but our little family.
I never went back to law school. It took me 14 years to go back to school for my master’s degree, down a completely different path than I ever planned. I have never looked back with regret. Only thankfulness that God chose me to be the mother of that baby boy. Thankful that He had the best path for me, even though it was radically different than the path I had chosen. So thankful.
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May
4
Every once in awhile my kids will say things that make me think I need to write it down, so I don’t forget. Over the years there have been many of those, so in honor of Mother’s Day this weekend, I’m going to share some of them here. Some are heartbreakingly sweet, some are goofy.
- Said by my youngest when he was about 11 months old: Instead of saying “Mama”, he called me “Mimi” at first. I thought it was adorable, but he started saying mama a few months later.
- Said by my oldest when he was two; I was nine months pregnant and wore a dress because I couldn’t fit into anything else: “Mommy, you look like Cinderella”.
- Said by my oldest a week after his baby brother was born: “Take him back, take him back” as he brought the infant car seat to me.
- Said by my youngest on his third birthday; we were still in denial that he needed speech therapy: “Bit by birpbay”. (translation: “It’s my birthday”)
- Said by my youngest when he was five: “Mommy, when you die, I want to sit on your lap so God will take me too”.
- Said by my youngest last year in response to his brother saying I was having a blonde moment: “She’s not blonde, so she must be having a gray moment”. I think he really thought he was being helpful, but not so much.
- Said by my oldest when he was 11; our power was out because of an ice storm: “Oh no, this means the truck won’t start”. We cracked up, then explained why the vehicles would still start.
- Said by my 12 year old when his teacher was trying to find volunteers and asked him if his mom worked during the day “No, my mom doesn’t do anything”. (huh?)
- Said by my teenage son just last week: “Girls are confusing, and when they get around their friends it’s even worse”! They learn this early, don’t they.
- Said by my fourteen year old just last week, after we had a heartfelt discussion about some things going on in his life: “You’re a pretty awesome mom”. There’s my Mother’s Day gift right there.
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My boys
Where did those little guys go?Cuteness overload
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